>Weathered: The Resurrection

>I’m not quite sure where this story falls in line with the other Weathered scenes chronologically, other than it is not in the beginning. I have not written more than 13,000 words in chronological order, so the story is very random at this point. I know that at some point in the future, it will all blend seamlessly together, but today, I hope you can enjoy this new addition to the Weathered series.

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     “Yes, Bill. I really do need you to get that patented ASAP. It’s a crucial part of my design. If you need more money to get it done, just say so.” Blair spewed into the phone, her patience waning by the hour.

     “Blair, you don’t understand. Not everyone can be bribed.” Bill’s voice held a hint of warning Blair once again ignored.

     “Yes, Bill, they can. Everyone has a price. Everyone. Call me when it’s done.” The phone smacked decisively in its cradle as she dismissed him. Her fingers tapped on the antique desk, a new addition to the motley group of furniture decorating her office, most of which was waiting to be properly placed in other rooms as they were finished. It was an inheritance from her father’s best friend and law partner that had just passed away. He had been very active in her life as she grew up, but over the years, she spent less time with his family. She was astounded to learn that he had bequeathed her the desk. Its arrival less than 24 hours after he was pronounced dead was more surprising than the gift itself. It had been a busy week though, and she had found no time to really assess its full value.

     The smoothness of its face under her drumming fingers caused her eyes to shift down and distracted her thoughts. Her eyes followed the gentle grooves that had been etched along the edges of the desktop. Flourishes of varying heights and shapes had been lovingly chiseled into the drawer faces. The delicate yellow coloring of the wood under the clear gloss belied its age. The love and care bestowed on the desk was apparent.

     She opened the drawers carefully, her fingers finding comfort in the grip of the cool brass knobs. She worked silently from left to right, only stopping when she realized that both bottom drawers were locked. She wondered what secrets those drawers held. She felt underneath each unlocked drawer searching for the key. As she knelt to feel for the key on the underside, a vision of blue topaz and lush emerald filled her eyes from the pile of mail on her desk at the same moment her fingers brushed against the cold metal of the key. The sudden burst of color evicted a small sigh from her lips. Her search successful, her legs straightened as she plucked the postcard from between the white piled around it.

     “I’m not dead. Meet me at Vinny’s Pizza tonight. Tell no one.”

     The words were an angry dog growling at an intruder after the warm “Welcome to the Bahamas” on the front. The familiarity of the handwriting shook her to the core.

     “Louis,” her mind screamed.

     The postcard fluttered briefly in cadence with the tremor in her hand before it fell to the floor. Her hand clutched her heart as her knees returned to the floor, the soft shag cushioning the blow. Twenty years he had been dead. Why would he resurface now? How long had the postcard been sitting there? Was she already too late? Would he be there tonight? The questions swirled through her mind as she dropped, abruptly silenced when her head bounced from the carpet.

******************
     She glanced at the clock tower as she entered the pizzeria. Three nights Regina had come, hoping that Blair would show up, only to leave empty handed. She needed that key, and she needed the contents of that desk. She pulled the fedora down tighter on her head, lifted the collar of her oversized trenchcoat, and sat down on the black iron order pick up bench to wait. Maybe tonight would be her lucky night.

As always, I appreciate constructive criticism. Also, be sure to stop by Mommylebron, my fabulous writing partner, and read her take on the prompts as well.

–Stephanie, AKA The Drama Mama

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Stephanie Ayers

Executive Creative Director at Our Write Side/OWS Ink, LLC
A published author with a knack for twisted tales, Stephanie Ayers is the Executive Creative Director of OWS Ink, LLC, a community for writers and readers alike. She loves a good thriller, fairies, things that go bump in the night, and sappy stories. When she is not writing, she can be found in Creative Cloud designing book covers and promotional graphics for authors.
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10 thoughts on “>Weathered: The Resurrection”

  1. Jessica says:

    >Oh so good, I want to know what happens next.Love the descriptions, so vivid. I love the line about the writing on the postcard.

  2. CDG @ Move Over Mary Poppins! says:

    >Oh! the intrigue!And a sinister woman in a fedora…Your description of the desk is wonderful. You dress your stage very vividly.

  3. TheKirCorner says:

    >yes, yes, the descriptions are wonderful, I was running my hands across that desk with you…and I love the cliff hanging ending, this was fantastic. 🙂

  4. Jessica Anne says:

    >Ahh! Regina. I don't like her.I loved this. I love how clearly you show Blair's world view and so much about her life experiences with her insistence that everyone has a price. That little detail really told a lot about her character.I love the description of the desk too.Can't wait to read more!

  5. Mommylebron says:

    >I LOVE this line: "It had been a busy week though, and she had found no time to really assess its full value." It is so telling of her character.This is a great piece and I can't wait to see how it plays into the story line.

  6. Carrie says:

    >I always love your tidbits about this storyline.I found this a bit confusing though. Especially the end. It is Blair doing the narrating, correct? And who is she supposed to be waiting for? Louis? It was this line that confused me:"Three nights she had come, hoping that Blair would show up, only to leave empty handed"I'm sure a few edits would help. And maybe breaking up a couple of the paragraphs to read easier :)Oh, and this line? The words were an angry dog growling at an intruder after the warm "Welcome to the Bahamas" on the frontLOVED IT

  7. Erica M says:

    >Thanks for stopping by my blog and introducing me to yours. This draft is a great start. I can't wait to see where you go with it.

  8. Jack says:

    >I am intrigued and curious about where this goes. Twenty years later he resurfaces- that is interesting- all sorts of possibilities.

  9. Renee says:

    >I really want to read more of this story. Great cliffhanger. I was a bit confused at the end. I had to reread a couple of times to catch on.

  10. Kelly K @ Dances with Chaos says:

    >Ok, I really enjoyed this story. I admit, I don't think I've read this series you're writing, so I'm only viewing this as a short story.I saw you were seeking concrit so here are some suggestions (which you can listen to or disregard as you see fit).The story was strong, but the beginning could be tighter.In the first paragraph: "Yes, Bill. I really do need you to get that patented ASAP. It's a crucial part of my design. If you need more money to get it done, just say so." Blair's impatience to get her gallery up and running stressed her out. –> I didn't realize she was on the phone and you were sort of telling me why she was stressed. Leave me hanging. If you tightened it up by saying "Yes, Bill. I really do need you to get that patented ASAP. It's a crucial part of my design. If you need more money to get it done, just say so." Blair spat into the phone, her patience gone." Leave the gallery and the stress until later. The beginning is where you suck me in, making me want to know why she's so impatient.The second paragraph: his warning is fine, but you can modify it tighter: "Bill's ignored warning an echo of previous conversations." or something along those lines.In the next paragraph, I don't think you need the line "She was very surprised to learn that he had bequeathed her the desk." because the line after it talks about her surprise.I loved the description of the desk, searching for the key and the postcard. Only suggestion is you start a new paragraph with "She opened the drawers.."Love the line "The words were an angry dog growling at an intruder after the warm "Welcome to the Bahamas" on the front."I'd ditch "quickly" when you talk about her falling to the carpet again, it isn't needed.This paragraph was good, but the head bouncing "from" the carpet confused me. Did you mean "on" the carpet?Because I wasn't familiar with the story, it took me a moment to "get" the ending, but once I understood it, it made perfect sense. I really liked the set up and intrigue.A very good story, with some interesting characters. I hope this helped!Posted using google account b/c WordPress ID was denied on Blogger. My blog is at WordPress, not Blogger.

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