Tomato Slice

Tomato Slice

February 17, 2012 Writing 13

Slice. Slice. At last, freedom! Y’all have no idea how stifling Lord Tomato can be. Ser’isly. The slide of that blade was like a pinch at first, but was so fast, I barely felt anything, and now I’m free!! Her hand is cool as she carries me. She lays me on top of my new mate, Lettuce.

“Howdy,” I say.

“Howdy?” Lettuce scoffs.  “You do realize that you are part of a sandwich? You know that she will put you in her mouth, bite you, and you’ll travel in chunks until you land in her stomach? You realize that you’re about to die, don’t you?”

Bread speaks up now. “Hush, Lettuce. Let him have his joy. It’s a good thing to be chosen. I’ve seen so many of my brothers discarded for being too close to the end of the loaf. I’ll rejoice with him in being chosen. Hush, Lettuce.”

“Humph. Bacon’ll be here soon, and he’ll tell you the same thing,” Lettuce answers.

“I’ll just slide out smoothly. You’ll see. There’ll be something of me left when y’all’re gone.” I assure them.

“She’ll salt you and pick you up. You’ll feel the vengeance of her teeth without our padding. Go ahead and slide. I hope I’ll be here to hear you scream.” Lettuce snickers a bit.

“Ow! That’s hot!” Bacon, fresh from the frying pan, lands on top of me.

“What’s this I hear about sliding out?” Bacon asks.

“Yeah, I’m gonna do it. I’ll time it so I slide to the floor. She won’t eat me then.” I shoot back.

Bacon’s deep laugh mingles with Lettuce’s high one. It has a musical quality to it.

“You see those eyes over there, peeking from underneath all that fur? He’ll snap you up in two bites if you reach the floor. Just accept your fate.” Lettuce says. Bread merely clicks his tongue in response. Suddenly the plate falls away and we are lifted into the air.

Lips loom closer, the dark abyss opening wider. The first bite misses and I slide backwards just as I promised I would. Each bite, I slide a little further back, until I land on her lap with a plop. I laugh.

“I told you so,” I say, mere moments before SNAP!

“Yep. I called that one right.” Lettuce’s last words fill the air as she watches the dog swallow Tomato Slice in a single bite. “Sayonara, sandwich!”


This week we showed you a picture of a delicious BLT and then asked you to write, in 400 words or less, a post inspired by it.

Have you ever wondered what your sandwich talks about before you eat it?

I’m always looking for feedback. Please feel free to share your thoughts on what works and what doesn’t work or whatever else in the comments.

Thanks for stopping in!


13 Responses

  1. TheKirCorner says:

    Steph, I love this. I love because it’s told from another point of view and it’s interesting and sucked me right in.

    It was soooo good!!!! 🙂

  2. angela says:

    This made me giggle; it was unexpected! The part about the mouth eating the sandwich is really well done.

  3. Carrie says:

    Lol, what a clever way to look at it. Very amusing, you had me laughing all the way

  4. Ha! I loved it. Reminded me so much of all the food commercials where the food itself is dancing around singing “eat me!”

    One concrit: The POV is Tomato Slice, and at the end, you switch to omniscient or lettuce’s POV. The last sentence would fit better if tomato slice was saying he heard lettuce’s words as he slipped down the dog’s gullet.

  5. Whoops. Made the mistake of reading this right at dinner time.

    My queasiness aside, this was charming and unexpected. Very nice.

  6. Hee! Very cute! Totally made me smile.

  7. Cameron says:

    Ooops! Silly tomato slice. This was fun and a super creative take on the prompt.

  8. Jackie says:

    I loved it! What a funny and unique take on the prompt this week! I need to take lesson in creativity from you.

  9. Too funny! What a fun and creative read!

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