The Summoning

The Summoning

March 21, 2012 Writing 11

The page was slightly torn, dog-eared, and wrinkled under Carissa’s fingers. The Celtic Book of Shadows was on loan from the library. It was a more popular book than she’d thought. She spent three months with her name on a waiting list before it was her turn to have the book. Three months waiting and she only needed this one page, this one spell.

She glanced at the papier-mâché spider she’d created for the occasion. A small smile worked itself across her face. A few words from that page before she went to bed last night and she could swear his pipe cleaner legs were a little longer and the styrofoam ball of his body was slightly bigger. The spell promised that her spider would be alive within a week. It was just enough time to get the final steps in her revenge plan in action. They would bother her no more. They would learn she wasn’t someone to mess with. Too long she’d put up with their jokes, pranks, and nasty comments. She’d been slammed in her locker one time too many.

The day of reckoning began sunny and warm. Carissa timed it perfectly so it would fall on the Spring Equinox, a day that would render her spell more powerful. She looked at the page again, repeating the final lines until she was confident she would remember them. She took the old watch she’d bought for the occasion, set the time to 2:00 pm, unwound it so it wouldn’t change time, and put it in a small pocket of her book bag along with the stub of a black candle. Her eyes settled on the last piece of her revenge and was pleased to see the spider moving. It had grown hair over its body and legs. The small pipe cleaner fangs she’d given it had transformed into the real deal. She picked it up, affectionately cupping it in her hand. If all went as planned, this would be the last time she would be able to hold him

At 1:50 pm the bell rang, dismissing the class. “Are you ready?” Carissa whispered to the spider. The watch and candle were taken out of her book bag and put on the top shelf. She scraped some wax from the candle and scattered the shavings over the watch and shelf.  The spider was set down beside the watch, on top of the wax. Her mind cleared of everything but the spell, even ignoring the slam of her locker door against her as one of them passed by.

“By these magick words of rhyme, elemental creature of Earth, I summon thee. May that which my heart desires now become our reality.” She chanted,  clasping the small crystal she wore around her neck. Satisfied, she set the spider on her shoulder, closed the locker, and went to class.

No one noticed the spider on her shoulder. No one noticed as it crawled down her desk, growing in size as it went. No one noticed it scurry under one desk after another, climbing up one pant leg after another, leaving two small bumps on each inner thigh. No one noticed as one by one the students began to stiffen. No one noticed until they began convulsing, foam flying from their lips, their bodies sliding from their desks and landing with a smack on the linoleum beneath them. No one noticed the small raven haired girl dressed in all black standing in the corner smiling sickly, because if they had, they’d realize they’d seen the Devil himself lurking in the shadows of her eyes.

And they would be afraid. Very, very afraid.

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For the IndieInk Writing Challenge this week, Diane challenged me with “Pick 4 of the following ingredients: newspaper, styrofoam balls, glue, Scotch tape, modeling clay, glitter, toothpicks, pipe cleaners. Make something. You may add details such as paint or stickers, but nothing else. Your story doesn’t have to include the making of the item, but must at least include the final product. Bonus points if you actually make something and include a photo of it.” and I challenged Allyson with “Rewrite your favorite story.”

(I chose newspaper, styrofoam balls, glue, and pipe cleaners. In my imagination, after painting it black and sticking on some eyes, my “papier-mache” spider would look something like the picture which is linked to the original source if you are interested in making it.}

I welcome and appreciate all feedback (or constructive criticism). It’s what helps me grow as a writer. Please feel free to share your thoughts in a comment. Was the motive for Carissa’s actions clear? Were you able to follow along as the time shifted from scene to scene through the end? Was there something I should have clarified or perhaps something that isn’t needed at all? Please, don’t be shy.

Thanks for stopping by!!

 

 

11 Responses

  1. Imperfectmomma says:

    Oh my Lord you gave me goosebumps

  2. Carrie says:

    I like the story of the bullied girl getting her revenge. It felt a touch cliched though with the use of a magic spell and the idea of her being a witch. I did enjoy the final lines of the spell. Nice little rhyme 🙂

    For structure, you might want to look at the paragraph beginning At 1:50 the bell rang. So many of those lines begin with “She did this” “She did that”. I think you could show these better.

  3. kgwaite says:

    Yipe! I love the way the spider crawls up legs, biting people on the thigh. Horrible! And I like how it grows. I didn’t understand why/how she unwound her watch.

    • SAM says:

      ohh something to work on. I’ll have to see how it work it in. Basically she did it because she needs the watch to be set at the time she wants the spell to happen. If she didn’t unwind it, it wouldn’t be set at that specific time.

  4. Jester Queen says:

    Loved it! They did indeed cross the wrong girl. But the thing I like best here is the story’s hint that her solution was much more school-shooting than appropriate-revenge. The part about the devil in her eyes made her acts equal in evil to the acts of those who tormented her.

    One note — I was thrown a little by the very end where they ‘they’d realize’ and ‘would be afraid’. The “if they had” made me want “they would have realized” and “they would have been afraid”.

    But then, I do love the power of that last line, and I’m not sure if adding another helping verb would detract at that point.

    • SAM says:

      i played with they’d, they had, they would have and they had won out. It just seemed to bring it to point better.

      I will admit that I have an overusage on the word “had”. Perhaps it is because I am a passive aggressive type of personality that works its way into my writing.

  5. lexy3587 says:

    I like the idea of it starting off fake and home-made and becoming real. I could imagine this character being expanded on, and I really can’t see a way in which this will work out well for her – like the spider will grow out of control or something.

  6. Shah Wharton says:

    Arachnophobic reader here – yikes. I can read about flesh eating zombies and blood slurping vampires all night, but put a spider in it and I’m freaked out. Creepy story, big time for me. 🙂

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