Season of Change

Season of Change

September 26, 2011 Writing 28

Day 6

I never did care for neighbors; always wantin’ to burrah a cuppa sugar, or an egg, your hammer, or conversation. The old neighbors were significantly better than the new ones, though they’ve ne’er burrahed a thing from me. The old neighbors took care of their yard, always plantin grass seeds, trimmin’ their hedges, weedin’ and plantin’, plantin’ and weedin’. In fact, it was odd if’n you didn’t see at least one of them with their pants soiled about the knees. Ayup. It was even more suspicious when they jus’ up and sold the house jus’ before the frost came ‘round last winter.

I knew the new neighbors would be trouble from the git go. It was jus’ somethin’ ‘bout the way they drove up in that flashy red pickup, what with all the bells and whistles, lookin’ as though it had ne’er seen dirt, jus’ all purty and shiny like, the wheels all silvery and flashin’ in the sun. Just plain blindin’ if’n you asked me. Ain’t no sense to be showin’ off like that in a li’l ol’ place like this. Jus’ ain’t no sense to it a’tall.

So, winter turned to spring, spring to summer, and I’ll be damned if it ain’t fall again. Fall means leaves, and leaves I jus’ cain’t do. This is the sixth day in a row I been out rakin’ up these leaves. I ain’t seen hide nor hair of them though out rakin’ their leaves. They jus’ sittin’ all over their lawn, red splotches on gold flecks, on more red. Red like blood. I’ve already done gone and raked up their leaves what keep blowin’ over in my yard. Cain’t seem to keep ‘em out. I’lls just hafta put a note on their door ax’n ‘em to keep up with their leaves. T’ain’t nothin’ else what I could do.

Day 9

Damn neighbors. I know they saw it. I know it. And me, out here wipin’ the sweat off’n my brow, rakin’ these leaves, lookin’ at their yard full of ‘em. Watchin’ the wind blow ‘em right back into my yard where I jus’ raked. The way the wind dances with ‘em jus’ sets my blood to boilin’. It’s obscene is what it is. There’s jus’ no accountin’ for it. None a’tall.

Day 17

Damn neighbors, cain’t follow the simplest instructions. Damn leaves. Blood red. Leaves. Ever’where.

Day 22

Damn neighbors. Damn leaves. Damn red leaves. Blood. Boilin’. Leaves like blood ever’where. Boilin’ blood.

Day 30

Damn leaves. Cain’t see the grass for the leaves anymore. Nothin’ but red, ever’where. Red like blood. Damn neighbors. Damn red.


Damn blood. Damn tree.

Day 45

Chop. Chop. Slam. Timber! Ha. That’ll take care of your damn leaf problem and your damn red truck, too. Ayup. Let’s see the wind dance with your leaves now. Damn tree. Let’s see you clean them leaves up now, damn neighbors. Damn blood. Boilin’ red.

Day 60

Smash.  Damn neighbors. Squish. Oh now you git that fear in your eyes? I ax’d you nicely to Rake. Smack. Your. Smash.  Damn. Rip.  Leaves. Slash. I even wrote it up all nice an’ neat on that purty stationary my wife used to use. She shore did like that red paper. Boilin’ red. Splunk. T’weren’t a difficult request. All’s you needed was a rake. Squarsh. Now look it what you made me go ‘n do! Slam. All’s ya had to do was ax’d to burrah the damn rake. Scratch. Look it that. Blood on your floor. Red as them leaves. Don’tcha wish you’d a listened to the nice friendly note now? Scratch. Scritch. Damn. Now I gotta rake ‘em up for ya. Creak. I’m gonna burrah your freezer, okay? Slide. Oof. Thud. Slide. Thunk. Oosh. Thud. Slap. Don’t worry. Slam. Your yard’ll be jus’ fine. Once them leaves are gone, and the frost done moved on, your flowers will be pushin’ right on up through the ground in no time. No time a’tall. All’s you need is a spade. Ayup.  All’s you need is a spade.


This week’s Indie Ink Challenge came from Jordan Durham, who gave me this prompt: after a long night, you wake up one morning and realize your whole life is about to change. I challenged kgwaite with the prompt: write an ode to chocolate Dr. Suess style.

Did I step far enough outside the box for this? LOL. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments, good or bad.

This also fits a prompt from the Bloggy Mom’s Writing Workshop. I went here and chose the fabulous story starting prompt of: I never did care for.

We’ve got some good stuff going on over at Bloggy Moms. What are you waiting for?


28 Responses

  1. Andrea S. Michaels says:

    I truly enjoyed it. The beginning and the end were very strong, really good work. I’m glad you didn’t overdo the accent in writing, that can be quite irritating but yours was just at the right amount. Well done.
    – andrea

    • DM says:

      Thank you. The dialect was a concern, since i felt that if it pained me to write it, it may pain my readers to read it, but I’m very pleased to know it had the right balance.

  2. Tara R. says:

    Yikes! Makes me glad I only have pine trees in my yard.

    I liked the dialect too. Very believable and not overdone.

  3. lizculver says:

    That was pretty intense at the end! This read a little bit like a Stephen King character – someone descending deeper and deeper into madness over something seemingly as simple as leaves.

    I’m in agreement with Andrea – it is hard to read accents for a sustained period but the amount to set the scene here was okay.

    • DM says:

      I have to admit that he is one of my top 5 favorite authors, so I’ll take that as a huge compliment!

      And note to self…do not write a book with a main character that has a strong dialect. 😉

  4. Feisty Cat says:

    I love how you combined prompts. Dark stuff. Really dark. Hard read (i.e., I was cringing), but a good one.


  5. Niqui says:

    Good job! I was totally into the story and I could see it playing out in my head like a movie. I really liked it.

  6. Jennifer says:

    Great voice! What part of the country is this from? Sounds a bit like the south, but all the leaves would suggest midwest?

    • DM says:

      Well. it was actually a character of Stephen King’s ( a narrator) that inspired this, so I think its supposed to be northeast–Maine, Vermont, etc.

  7. Carrie says:

    This was dark and disturbing. Right from the get go I had the worst feeling about how this might end.

    Definitely had a Stephen King flavor!

  8. billy says:

    DM, I loved it, had an idea that all that red was leading to a messy ending but I was laughing all the way. And to ask to burrah the freezer: perfect!! Great post!

    • DM says:

      LOL. Laughing was not was I was expecting, but I have to admit that it was fun to right. Does that make me diabolical too?!? Scary!! Ha. Thanks, Billy!

  9. amanda says:

    How weird and crazy and funny. I love it.

  10. Chelle says:

    Oh, where to start????
    The first sentence-pulled me in right away.
    The dialect-made me like the character right away.
    I do like the Stephen King flavor since he is one of my favorite author’s. So to read a story like this, is right up my alley!!!
    You always amaze me, lady. And inspire me!!!!!

    • DM says:

      Inspiring is good. I hope that I can continue to inspire you ladies at BMWW. If I can’t inspire you, then I’m not doing my job. 😉

      Thank you, Chelle!

  11. Rainyday says:

    I highly enjoyed reading this! I found Days 17, 22 and 30 to be a bit slow, but it did set the tone. I’d love to read more!

    • DM says:

      yes, that was all they were really for, to set the tone, show his increasing anger/insanity. Thank you for reading!

  12. R.L.W. says:

    Very entertaining… and disturbing. Great job!

  13. logyexpress says:

    My Mom HATES raking leaves so much, this reminded me of her at the very beginning, even though she totally does not have an accent like this! It quickly stopped reminding me of Mom! Wow, good stuff. So disturbing, and yes maybe just a touch amusing. Who hasn’t been annoyed at a neighbor’s actions (or inaction)?

  14. Imelda says:

    Dark and scary. I do not want to be his neighbor. I can see him in my head.

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