Sassy Scorpio Scribe: Love Is
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
― Lao Tzu
I remember being young and pouring over those little “Love Is” comics. My mom had a tattered, spiral notebook full of them. She had meticulously cut them from newspapers and pasted them in there. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I think it inspired that same longing in her own heart.
It was something I wanted so bad, love. My childhood was…rough. I often felt needed. I felt wanted. But always in ways that made my skin crawl and my soul sigh. I was useful and I knew how to stay out of the way. And I was misused in a way that is neither here nor there today.
I knew my mom loved me, I know it now. And as a parent myself, I now understand her preoccupation with adulting and why she depended on me so much. I just didn’t feel that adoration that I have now for my own kids.
I never felt like I mattered. I suffered 15 years in a miserable, horrible marriage wanting love so bad it physically hurt. But I settled because how was I to know I deserved better? I began to believe that “true love” only existed in fictional stories.
I think what made me most sad was that even at a young age I understood what this cute little cartoon was saying. No, I hadn’t experienced anything it depicted at that point in my life but there was a bigger message. Love just is. It can’t be defined in just one way. It can’t be displayed or experienced in just one way. It is hundreds of millions of “little things” that have one thing in common. That indisputable bond between two people.
Love isn’t being a slave and self-sacrificing for another person. Love isn’t being a scapegoat or a punching bag. Love isn’t working 50 hours a week, taking care of children, household and more so your partner can enjoy life exclusively. And love isn’t making yourself available to another person 24/7 without exception.
Love isn’t always rainbows and balloons and puppy dog kisses. Love is messy, it is painful, and it is raw. Love is expressed through fear and tears just as much as fun and…fun…
Romance Isn’t Dead
I think it is this endlessness of love that spurs both romance writers and readers. Love stories can be written from so many perspectives, with so many different elements. It is one of the most versatile genres which is evident in any bookstore.
And a lot of us found ourselves stuck, at one point or another, settling for a version of love because it’s all we know. Reading romance fills in the gaps left by settling. And for others, those who have found it, it gives them joy to see it manifest over and ever. Because they know. I have been on both sides of this fence.
Exploring love through writing and reading is a learning experience. It teaches us the languages of love, the pitfalls, and the rewards. I have always been a sucker for a good “girl meets boy” and I still am, even having my very own Prince Charming.
Love Is Deep
Love has many layers. Starting from puppy love (which I wholeheartedly feel is “real”) and ending in that type of love you read in a Nicholas Sparks novel, where one partner’s death follows the other one from a broken heart. The romance genres has as many sub-genres as love has layers. A genre for every heart. I’m happy to say I have found a Nicholas Sparks love. That deep love that fills you from the tips of your toes to the top of your soul. My husband has a heart I always dreamed of finding.
I will be honest, there was no real point to this post. I was watching my husband care for his father last week and my heart swelled at his display of love. A love I knew because I feel it every day and it is the love I always wanted. The one I dreamed of every time I read a “Love Is” comic…
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Until next time, scribe happy and stay sassy!