>Red Writing Hood: The Blizzard of '94

>Red Writing Hood: The Blizzard of '94
January 7, 2011 21 Comments Writing Stephanie Ayers

>”And we will be right back after this commercial break,” the news announcer exclaimed. Becca took her eyes off the television and moved to the back of the cafe to clear off another table as Jimmy turned the volume down and counted the till. Clanking was heard from the back where Zachary, the young dishwasher, was stacking the clean dishes.

Diminished with time, the “Garrett loves Becca” that had been engraved in the table so long ago, still managed to catch her eye despite its fading. Emitting a long sigh, she finished polishing the antique wood of the table and booth while her mind carried her away, remembering…

Falls Run Hospital was far enough away that it was no easy feat driving there in a blizzard, but babies had no patience when they decided it was time to arrive. Garrett stayed as close behind the ambulance as he could, but he was thankful that Becca was not in the car with him. Heavy in labor when the paramedics arrived, he was grateful that she was in good hands because the going was so slow. Inclement weather aside, the drive to the hospital was long enough under normal conditions and his concern over their arriving in time grew.

Jimmy had been called at the cafe, where he had an apartment on the top floor, and would be ready with a thermos of hot coffee. Keystone Cafe was located in the heart of the small town. Lined up on the same corner as the hospital, it was within easy walking distance of the hospital’s front lobby. Men and women, mostly doctors and nurses, flowed continuously out of the hospital on a regular basis making up the main percentage of the cafe’s business, but today, the storm kept them all inside, settling for the hospital’s bland cafeteria food and flat coffee instead. Nobody was foolish enough to brave the blizzard, not even to take the few steps to the cafe’s front door, so Garrett was looking forward to hot coffee and good company, once Becca was settled.

Obstacles of an unknown nature filled his path, and he lost sight of the ambulance while trying to maneuver his way around them. Praying that she would arrive safely, his focus turned too late to the road ahead of him, and his car took a slide across the bridge and plunged him into the icy waters below.

Quieting the sirens as the ambulance approached the bay, the paramedics worked quickly to move Becca into the delivery ward. Records were broken as they ran her through the building, stopping only when she sat up and seized her heart, knowing in that instant her beloved was gone.

She sighed again as she read the names on the table, engraved there seventeen years before, tracing them again with the tip of her finger. Tears filled her eyes and splashed on the worn checkered linoleum tiles beneath her feet, and she fumbles with the child proof top of the little pill bottle she keeps around for times like this. Understanding still evaded her, and her heart still ached the same as it had the night he disappeared.

Visions of him flickered through her mind; silly dances here in the corner, and just over there, at the counter where he proposed. Weakening, she sat at the counter and let the memories wash through her, allowing herself to cry.  Xanax set in, and she returned to her duties, with her eyes red and swollen as one last memory comes.

You have to name this boy to take him home,” the nurse says, her caring eyes searching Becca’s face carefully.
Zachary, just as Garrett would have wanted,” Becca answers as she gazes down at her newborn son, born the day his father died.

Constructive criticism is welcomed and appreciated.

–Stephanie, AKA The Drama Mama

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Stephanie Ayers A published author with a knack for twisted tales, Stephanie Ayers is the Executive Creative Director of OWS Ink, LLC, a community for writers and readers alike. She loves a good thriller, fairies, things that go bump in the night, and sappy stories. When she is not writing, she can be found in Creative Cloud designing book covers and promotional graphics for authors.
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  1. 21 Comments

    The mad woman behind the blog

    >Wow.Just wow. I really loved this story.Okay, that's not helpful. I know X is the hardest letter to use but your word choice broke up the rhythm of your writing, making the word stick out like a sore thumb. Does "Xanax in hand…." work?Feel free to strike my comment.

    Reply
  2. 21 Comments

    Stephanie

    >Noted. Thanks for the tip! I worked it in. Great suggestion.

    Reply
  3. 21 Comments

    Nancy C

    >A heartbreaking story. I agree that as a whole, the letters flow naturally. I loved the flashback, and the way you weaved details about that little town in so seamlessly. Are you working on a novel about that diner? There's totally one there. Visiting from RDC

    Reply
  4. 21 Comments

    Cristina

    >beautiful story telling. I agree with what has been said, it flowed so well.visiting from RDC

    Reply
  5. 21 Comments

    Sluiter Nation

    >amazing post! I love how if you didn't highlight the letters? I would have forgotten that this was the alphabet prompt. Such a powerful post!

    Reply
  6. 21 Comments

    Carrie

    >Great minds think alike! I highlighted my letters too :pThis was really well done, it flows so well that like Sluiter Nation, I'd never have realized it was following the prompt.Visiting from Red Writing Hood

    Reply
  7. 21 Comments

    Valerie

    >This is so beautiful and so sad! What an excellent piece of writing!

    Reply
  8. 21 Comments

    (Florida) Girl

    >I see more growth in your writing every time I visit. Good job on a tough assignment.Stopping by from the red dress club.

    Reply
  9. 21 Comments

    varunner

    >I can see it all so clearly – the hospital, the storm, the….xanax. Very powerful piece.

    Reply
  10. 21 Comments

    Not Just Another Jennifer

    >Nice job with Xanax! Really well-told.

    Reply
  11. 21 Comments

    whispatory

    >We got to go so many places and through so much time in this short piece. The characters are very well developed and I was sad to get to Z.

    Reply
  12. 21 Comments

    sara

    >Oh how awful I feel for Becca. And how much do I love that you used inclement weather. I have no idea why, but it's one of my favorite phrases. Amazing as ever…

    Reply
  13. 21 Comments

    Liz

    >I love that you have a dedicated site just for writing! How hard was it to write and work in every letter of the alphabet?

    Reply
  14. 21 Comments

    Cheryl

    >Love the new site, Stephanie! I liked this, how so much happened in such a short time.

    Reply
  15. 21 Comments

    Erin

    >Wow! That story gave me chills!!

    Reply
  16. 21 Comments
  17. 21 Comments

    The Empress

    >The rhythm and flow are so peaceful. I hope it isn't a true one, Please?But, very peaceful and the Alphabet works effortlessly there.Thank you for the quietness with your post today.

    Reply
  18. 21 Comments

    Ratz

    >Oh this is heart breaking. 🙁

    Reply
  19. 21 Comments

    Cook of the House

    >I really enjoyed reading this sad story!

    Reply
  20. 21 Comments

    Pepca

    >Wow. What a heart-felt, sad story, I really liked it.

    Reply
  21. 21 Comments

    Natalie

    >Loving the new site! It's something I've been thinking about doing, too. If the letters hadn't been highlighted, I would've never caught on to the alphabet – it flows beautifully! Love the story, but then again, I love all of your writing 🙂

    Reply

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