Poetry: Sad Santa by Eric Keizer

Christmas is one day away, and tonight Santa will weave magic as he leaves packages of all colors and sizes for children all over the world. For us adults, though, sometimes it seems like more work than we expected. We need a little relief and perhaps even a more realistic view of Santa than we give our children. Here’s a little something for you.

Sad Santa

‘Twas the night before Christmas,   

And Santa was drunk,    

He sat with the Mrs,   

All down in a funk.    

The union had called,

The elves all were mad,

The reindeer had stalled,

And Rudolph was sad.

His belt wouldn’t close,

His hat wouldn’t fit,

He’d rip out the seam

Of his pants when he’d sit.

Some toys had been broken,

And some wouldn’t work.

Although he’d tried hard,

He still felt like a jerk.

He looked out the window,

And to his delight,

There shone such a star,

a bright beacon of light!

He suddenly felt

His depression give way,

He’d climb his big butt

Right into his sleigh!

He pleaded with elves,

And then with the deer,

And even poor Rudolph,

Who wouldn’t come near.

Mrs. Claus ran ‘round,

Rousing the elves,

They had sacks to fill;

They emptied the shelves!

Donner then stamped

His magical hooves,

he ordered the deer

to strap on their shoes.

Santa jumped into

His brightly lit sleigh,

He crackled his long whip,

and took off right away.

Mrs. Claus saw him wink,

As he yelled out a warning,

“Be ready, hot Babe…

For your gift, in the morning.”

_______________________

Whether you’ve been naughty or nice, we hope you find what you wished for under your tree tomorrow. When you need a break, come on back and read Nancy E. Miller’s Christmas story written just for you.

Merry Christmas

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