One For All, All In Trouble-Discipline Woes
As I sat in the car loop, with a hot and grumpy little girl, I peeked in the side mirror to see my son
walking stalking towards us. Great, two grouches for the price of one! It was my lucky day.
I watched him approach, all angry eyebrows and storm clouds.
He flopped into the back seat and growled semblance of a greeting.
“Hey, how was your day?!” His sister giggled at him.
Two notes here:
- My daughter was not able to read social and emotional cues. At all.
- She was just all gloom and puppy stomping herself. So, what was the deal with the giggling?
He heaved and hummed for a bit then shared why his day sucked. I have to say, I kinda agreed with the little guy. But, for the sake of being unbiased, I think I will ask your opinion.
Here is what happened, in his own words:
“Today at school, at lunch, 6 kids were talking. They were girls, talking about girl stuff. The lights were off which means to be quiet. But the girls weren’t being quiet. So, the lunch teacher put our table on red. And then our teachers came, and we had 5 minutes off of our recess and we lost an extra 8 minutes off. We only got 4 minutes of recess because we had to walk 4 laps. Me and my friends wanted to play football, but we didn’t get to. We only got to make a couple of throws and catches. And it was really boring because then we had to go to Smart Time.”
So, here’s his complaint, everyone got in trouble due to the actions of a small group. Is this a lazy form of discipline? What does it teach children, to punish them for the actions of others? (Sorry, I’m about to get all deep and theoretical here). Does it teach them to blame the whole for the actions of the minority? Like, how some people think it is ok to hate all Muslims because of the actions of extremists?
Every action we make as adults creates a ripple effect in this world that can last throughout generations. It is important to always be aware of the message we are sending out, and to ‘Be The Change You Want To See.’
Do you want to know what this 11-year-old walked away from this scenario with?
“I learned to try to tell other kids to be quiet.”
Does this seem like an appropriate lesson? We can agree that children should role model good behavior, but to what extent should they be responsible for the actions of others?
I’m glad that as a result of his upbringing (I take credit where it’s due!) his answer wasn’t:
“I learned I should just break the rules because I’ll get in trouble anyway.”
Until next time, scribe happy and stay sassy!