Never Live It Down

Another Indie Ink Challenge met with just hours to spare. My challenge is listed at the bottom. I have been sitting on this idea for a week, and this is the only way it would come out. Pure silliness your kids, especially, will enjoy.

There once was a sloth called Fernando

Who surfed through the trees in Orlando

He was the best there be

In a race you see

For there was none who could catch his shadow.

A day of fate left a blow to his pride

A piece of wood as he surfed went up his hide

Try as he might

The wood out of sight

His derriere was left in a fit to be tied.

That wood that was stuck was as big as a dime

So he swooped through the trees, over space and time

His nether end

He kept in a bend

His eyes ever seeking that finish line.

The race he would win despite the stuck wood

The ending within eyesight told him he could

Wind in his cheeks

His smile getting weak

He zoomed and he twisted as he knew he should.

The very last twist held a fate of its own

And this time he knew the race he had blown

The wood removed

His hide approved

The shart that shifted the world his renown.

This week I was challenged by Jason Hughes to write outside the box: Tell me about a day in the life of a sloth named Fernando without once using one of these letters in your story anywhere: “i” or “m”. Those proved a little too hard for me, so I opted to eliminate “j” instead.

I challenged Jules with “You’re hobbled, you’ve broken a heel, you’ve got holes in your hose, black smudges on your face, scratches on your arm, and your ear is bleeding where your pearl earring was ripped off. What happened to you?” whose excellent response can be found here.

So, tell me how I did. I welcome constructive criticism, even for something as silly as this. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments.

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Stephanie Ayers

Executive Creative Director at Our Write Side/OWS Ink, LLC
A published author with a knack for twisted tales, Stephanie Ayers is the Executive Creative Director of OWS Ink, LLC, a community for writers and readers alike. She loves a good thriller, fairies, things that go bump in the night, and sappy stories. When she is not writing, she can be found in Creative Cloud designing book covers and promotional graphics for authors.
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19 thoughts on “Never Live It Down”

  1. TheKirCorner says:

    Oooh so good and you’re right the boys loved it…..it was totally preschooler approved!

    1. DM says:

      LOL! I’m glad they liked it. 🙂

  2. Jo Bryant says:

    Loved this – great fun all round.

    1. DM says:

      Thank you, Jo!

  3. supermaren says:

    Hooray! I’m so glad you did it…and you’re right, both M and I are really difficult letters to remove! And sometimes you just need to let loose and be silly. 🙂

    1. DM says:

      I did. I really did. Perhaps that is why this wouldn’t let me write it any other way.

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  6. Lance says:

    It would be real easy to turn this limerick dirty like there once was a man from Nantucket.

    Seriously, I liked how you were economical with the words yet maintained sensibility. This was a hard prompt and you killed it. Good job.

    Thanks for liking Helene Troy.

    1. DM says:

      Hahaha. The Man from Nantucket is one of my favorites. LOL. Thank you. I feel like it was a disappointment as it was not what I had wanted to do, but I had fun, I got a good laugh, and being silly is good once in a while too. I’m probably a lot harsher about my writing than other people are anyway.

  7. juliemooreonlife says:

    I could totally see it as I read and thought how cool it would be illustrated.

    1. DM says:

      HAHAHAHAHAHAA!! I’m not sure I want to actually see a shart in action. LOL!!

  8. Billy says:

    Good job with a tough prompt!

    1. DM says:

      Thanks, Billy!

  9. Carrie says:

    I’m giggling. I love it

    1. DM says:

      HAHAHA, That’s awesome.

  10. Ixy says:

    Very entertaining – I really enjoyed Fernando’s journey.

    1. DM says:

      HAHA. Thanks. 😉

  11. Jason Hughes says:

    I’m very proud of your finished product! I was giggling as I pictured this surfer sloth and a splinter up his ass–LMAO!! I’m glad you were able to write the story and still eliminate a letter (which was the point–“m” and “i” were nothing more than my ideas of letters to eradicate) so as long as you did just that–avoid a letter–you have met the challenge, my fellow writer!! Good show!

    1. DM says:

      YAY! I’m so glad you liked it. It was a great prompt so thank you. As for you, I have one in mind for you when I become the challenger. Ha. 😉
      I’m considering seeing if my brother (an artist) is interested in doing animation for this. I think it might be great fun to turn into a cartoon. LOL.

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