Karma By the Sea

For authors, by authors, one word at a time

Karma By the Sea

January 2, 2012 Writing 26

They had nothing to say to each other and that was that.

They’d been married for 52 mostly happy years. They’d reared seven children and outlived all but two of them. Their quaint cottage by the sea grew larger as the nest emptied one by one. Agnes passed her time painting, selling a few to those who regarded her as a modern day Picasso, until Anders retired. He refused to get any hobbies of his own and was always under foot, disturbing her peace and disrupting her projects. Eventually, her creativity fizzled out and the painting stopped.

She realized how much she loathed him then. And so she plotted, adding a little something extra to his coffee every day until one day, he just didn’t wake up. Tears slid down her face at his funeral, just as they should, leaving none the wiser.

A cruise bought with his insurance money introduced her to a new, younger love. He moved into the small cottage with her and encouraged her to paint. He doted on her, catering to her every need. He praised every stroke on her final canvas until it was completed. It was a masterpiece worthy of Rembrandt. He congratulated her with a glass of wine that was hearty and unusually bubbly.

Her crumpled body stared at him as he added the final strokes to the painting, embedding his signature there forever. Then he signed the insurance documents and cashed the check for the masterpiece. The tears slid down his face, just as they should, leaving none the wiser.

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For the Indie Ink Writing Challenge this week, Sarah Sparks challenged me with “write a mini story (100-200 word) that begins with They had nothing to say to each other” and I challenged Lance to “write a story based on this picture“.

My deepest gratitude goes out to Carrie, Pirate Grace, and Headant for their help in editing my piece not only for clarity, but in getting the word count down.

 

 

26 Responses

  1. Imelda says:

    That was a nice compact story. 🙂

  2. Tara R. says:

    So much in so few words, nothing wasted. Wonderful!

    • SAM says:

      Yes, thanks to the hard work of my editing team. LOL. It was a good thing though. It will make me think more about word placement and etc. next time.

  3. Carrie says:

    The changes made it a much better piece of flash:) definitely a tale of how karma can get you

    Glad I could help with it

  4. amanda says:

    Very nice work. It’s challenging to use so few words. You did an awesome job with it. 🙂

  5. Marian says:

    yikes.
    i was actually taken by the first line’s idea of being married for 52 years, having seven children, and “outliving all but two,” as though that’s a good thing. take that somewhere?

  6. Lance says:

    I like how you used language to twist this into something strong. The last three or four lines are cash money.

    This should be expanded. Therre’s more story here. Thumbs up mama

  7. I didn’t see the end coming, nicely done. I really liked this.

  8. Irish Gumbo says:

    I was so busy looking at one hand holding a shiny thing, I didn’t see the other hand coming up to slap me. Good hook on the ending!

  9. Kurt says:

    This was great even before I saw that you were working with such a small word count. Fantastic work!

  10. Ooh, that’s deep in so few words! 🙂

  11. Gina says:

    I had no idea where this was going, yet could not stop reading, loved it!!

  12. Brandon says:

    Creepy! That is karma and justice for you, I suppose. Turn-about being fair play and what not! Nice little story!

  13. You know what they say about karma… 😉 Loved it!

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