Indie Ink: It's All Coming Back to Me

Indie Ink: It's All Coming Back to Me

February 9, 2012 Writing 8

Every time I go anywhere near Hull Street I get the shivers.  And I don’t get around Hull Street often. The buses don’t go there. The closest stop is two blocks away, around the corner. I skirt around it usually, driving three blocks out of the way to avoid it. I’ve heard that you can still smell the steel, that something metallic attaches itself to your tongue and you can taste it, even after all this time.

All this time…it’s April 17, 2013, eight years since the accident that claimed nine lives and put six in wheelchairs.

Honestly, I haven’t thought about it in years. Thousands of dollars in therapy and it disappeared from the forefront of my memory. It was just this morning that it came back to me, out of the blue.

At a red light, I smelled the twisted metal, burning. I heard the screams, most of which were foreign to me, belonging to voices I’d never met. Specters of dismembered hands protruding from the bus windows weaved reminders that my conscious forgot. I closed my eyes, resisting the memories. When I opened them, there she was, my beloved, her body still twitching in defiance of death, her head on the hood of my car, her beautiful face shredded by shards of glass. Her amber eyes opened slowly, piercing through me like the steel pole that killed her. Her eyes told me what I’d always known.

It should have been me.


For the Indie Ink Writing Challenge this week, Satu Gustafson challenged me with “Write something (600 words max) in which your character experiences something like a déjà vu. ” and I challenged Diane with “You awake and you realize you are no longer human, you’re an animal. You are surrounded by cages filled with more animals. You are in a kennel. A man wearing a white coat walks past your cage but you are unable to move, Your eyes follow him, and when he turns, you recognize him. What animal are you, who is this man, and why did he do this to you? You have 500 words, and you must write it from the point of view (first person) of the animal you became.”

Your feedback is wanted and appreciated. Always. Thanks for reading!


8 Responses

  1. Lindsey says:

    I like this – absolutely chilling. Well done!

  2. Satu Gustafson (@SGTarot) says:

    Chilling is a very fitting word here. I love your take on the prompt. The opening leaves you curious as to what happened and the revelation makes you shiver. Thank you for this. Well done!

  3. Carrie says:

    what Satu said…shivers my dear. You do horror so nicely 🙂

  4. Dane says:

    Wow – this one is going to stay with me a long time. Very well done!

  5. I saw her face and those amber eyes. Creepy, brilliantly done. P.S:I gave you the Versatile blogger award. The post where you can collect it is here: Have a great day. 😀

  6. I saw her face and those amber eyes, creepy. Brilliantly done. P.S: I gave you the Versatile blogger award. The post where you can collect it is here: Have a great day. 😀

  7. That literally gave me chills. One of my favorites that you’ve written!

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