In Time: V is for Vengeance

In Time: V is for Vengeance

March 30, 2012 Writing 14

This is another piece from my WIP “In Time.” It picks up where Veins of Fury left off.

Viola took a breath. She could feel the beast rising already. She needed to find shelter immediately. She worked her way down the alley, quickly finding a broken window leading into the basement of Father Lee’s tattoo parlor.

She cast a furtive glance around to make sure no one was watching and crawled through it. Her eyes took a moment to adjust to the dark. Lumps scattered around the room revealed that it was at least partly furnished. Her stomach banished the silence. She needed to eat. The knowledge of what was coming killed any appetite she had. She stretched out on the  love seat and let her eyes close.

She woke with heightened senses. The room around her was bright though it had no light. The whispered footfalls of the people walking on the floor above her she heard loud and clear. She could smell the river several miles away.

Viola rose from the love seat carefully. It’d been a long time since she’d let the Vamp out. A practice run was necessary to fulfill her thirst before wreaking the vengeance Father Lee deserved. She waited a few minutes for the transformation to complete. Her memories faded, her eye teeth grew, and a lust for blood motivated her to move. She could smell the blood encased in flesh just beyond the window.

She moved quickly, snapping his neck before drinking her fill. She dropped the body carelessly to the ground as the voice of Father Lee distracted her. Two steps and she was inside the parlor. She lurked in the shadows, waiting for the opportune moment. It presented itself soon enough. Father Lee let the last of his patrons out and joined Nieve behind the counter to mull over their profits for the day.

Viola moved so swiftly, she was a mere flash.

“What was that?” Nieve asked.

“I didn’t see anything,” Father Lee answered.

Viola moved again, faster than the human eye could see.

“There! Did you see that?” Nieve pointed to the space Viola just vacated.

Father Lee shook his head but let his eyes focus on the room around him. Viola moved again, and this time, he caught it.

“Nieve! Move!” He pushed her straight into Viola’s waiting arms.

An inhumane sound filled the room and he realized she was laughing.

“Thank you,” Viola said, her voice accompanied by the crisp snap of bone.

She could smell Father Lee’s fear and a grotesque smile crossed her face. Satisfied, she tore into Nieve’s flesh with vengeance and tossed her ravaged body at his feet.


This week Write on Edge asked us to write a fiction or creative non-fiction piece about a time someone crossed a line, legally or ethically. We could have explored vigilante justice or another sort of line crossing.

So, tell me what you’re thinking. Did Viola cross the line?

I welcome and appreciate your feedback.  Please feel free to share your thoughts on this piece in a comment.

Thanks for stopping by and reading!!


14 Responses

  1. Venus says:

    The answer is, yes! Even without having read the previous stories about Viola, it’s clear that she hasn’t vamped in a quite a while, most likely a decision not to for very good reasons. Her anger at Father Lee has pushed her over the line she drew for herself in the sand. And now that she’s over it… who knows where she’ll stop? Good stuff!

    • SAM says:

      Thank you. I was worried that it wouldn’t stand alone, so your affirmation that its clear was exactly what I needed.

  2. jackiepcross says:

    Loved it! And if she crossed the line then she did it well and for a reason!

    I got a bit lost between these two paragraphs though ‘flesh just beyond the window.
    She moved quickly,’ I had to go back and read it again because I felt like I missed something. I get that she went from the tattoo parlor to Father Lee’s place but did she use supernatural powers to get there or what?

    • SAM says:

      The tattoo parlor is Father Lee’s place. This went from her being in the alley outside, to going in the basement, to back to the alley, to enter through the front door. It’s just different parts of the same location.

  3. Imelda says:

    Yeah, Viola did cross the line. This is an enjoyable installment. What will Viola do next?

    By the way, nice new page design. 🙂

  4. Definitely a line crossed! There’s a lot of tension built up here.

    This line needs to be cleaned up: Father Lee let the last of his patrons out and joined Nieve behind the counter and mull over their profits for the day. (change “and” to “to”?)

    I think it’s clear why the Vamp doesn’t come out often…

    • SAM says:

      Good catch. It did need fixing, thank you!

      Viola has a lot of tension. It will be interesting to see where it goes from here.

  5. Lance says:

    I like how ravenous she is, yet aware of what’s going on. You paced this perfectly. It’s my favorite Viola piece. Great work with the alley and parlor. Love this.

  6. lexy3587 says:

    she’s a vampire?! wow, this weekend might be ‘catch up from the beginning’ time!
    I don’t know if she crossed the line, necessarily – it sounds like Nieve would have killed her, given the choice, but I think it might have been wiser to kill Father Lee instead, regardless of how good the revenge is.

    • SAM says:

      It will definitely make more sense to you if you go back and read all the pieces involving Father Lee. Perhaps it would be wiser to kill Father Lee, but we shall see.

  7. Carrie says:

    I would have liked to see more of Nieve. She was annoying but I think her blind loyalty to Father Lee could have been exploited into some great drama.

    I’m surprised Father Lee didn’t know what Viola was since he seemed to think he was controlling her moves as part of his grand game.

    • SAM says:

      Who says he didn’t know? He did add silver to the ink, after all. Perhaps it was unexpected. Perhaps he is as surprised by her remorse and desire for vengeance for Cage as you are. 😉

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