In Time: The Job

In Time: The Job
August 27, 2012 9 Comments Writing Stephanie Ayers

 

“Don’t be alarmed,” Nieve said. “When you’ve showered and changed, you will feel much more like yourself.”

She was right. Viola did feel better after a hot shower, though the warm cascade of water did nothing to revive her memory. She didn’t understand why she felt different when she took the black cloth from her wrist. She felt uncomfortable in her own skin until she put it back on. Spying the intricate lace and green velvet outfit laid out for her, she was suddenly grateful that her bracelet was black. It would coordinate inconspicuously with anything she wore.

She dressed in delight, enjoying the feeling of the soft fabric against her skin. Jewelry was set out on the gold vanity and, as she stood before the mirror once more, familiarity set in.  She found herself at peace with the vision she saw in the glass. Viola felt like a queen in her new clothing. Somehow, she knew that she’d never worn something like this before. Seeing her reflection, wearing the lush green, accessorized with the gold owl earrings, and matching watch, it just seemed right to her.

After being lost and confused for days on end, and despite not knowing where she was, she felt like she’d come home. Her uneasiness with the bald stranger began to fade and for the first time in days, she smiled.

Nieve noticed that Viola was ready and beckoned her. “Come. I have much to show you and little time to do it in. Your arrival was timely. Very timely indeed.”

Unease washed over Viola again, but she dismissed it, and repressed the warnings shouting in her head.

“I don’t understand. Where am I? How did we get here?” she questioned.

“All will be answered in time,” Nieve pulled a watch from inside her blouse. It was gold, with a ribcage covering the timepiece. When Nieve flipped the cover up then snapped it closed, Viola gasped. It fascinated her. “Come! We are running behind schedule.”

Viola followed Nieve down a narrow hallway.  Viola took in the crystal doorknobs and the cobwebs that dangled between the arms of the sconces hung in between each closed door along the hallway. Nieve’s knuckles rapped twice on the door at the end of the hall before her fingers turned the doorknob and they entered through it. Another gasp sounded from Viola. A wind of warmth rushed past her. She hadn’t realized how chilly it was until that moment. The room was large and open,  and bookshelves filled with books lined each wall. Red carpeting added warmth, coordinating perfectly with the rich browns of the wood shelves, and making the space look larger than it was. The bald man sat behind a large oak desk positioned  in the center. A small table sat to the right of the desk, its face marred by scattered papers and rickrack. Four small wooden chairs surrounded the table, hard and uncomfortable, a striking contrast with the rest of the room.

It was to this table that Nieve led Viola, sliding her watch out again and looking at the time. Viola watched her two companions exchange glances and sadness overtook her that confused her. Had she had a love like this before? If so, where was he now? What had happened to him?

Before she could reflect further, Nieve took her hand in hers, letting her other hand cup Viola’s chin. She looked into Viola’s eyes.

“Come!” Stern was her command before she released her. Viola’s eyebrows knit together, but she allowed Nieve to lead her. Nieve pulled a chair out for her and she sat in it, noticing that there was a wanted flyer at the top of the papers. Her eyes quickly scanned the page, noting the man’s name was Cage Ridley, the reward was $100,000, and how his handsome face haunted her. Before she could figure it out, another interruption distracted her. The bald man slid out from under his desk and joined them at the table.

“I am Father Desmond Lee. This is my humble abode and you are my welcome guest.” He smiled gently at Viola, but still she flinched. His smile contorted his face, making it sinister instead of welcoming, despite his words. “This,” he continued, extending his hand out towards the girl, “…is Nieve, my beautiful assistant. Tell me, have you found everything to your satisfaction since your arrival?”

Viola exhaled, releasing the butterflies that had collected in her stomach since her arrival there. “Ye…yes. Everything is beautiful, thank you, but…where am I? How did we get here from the woods without traveling?”

Father Lee held a finger to his lips. “Hush for now, child. First things first. Do as I request and all your questions will be answered.”

“What is it you want me to do?” her voice was almost a whisper.

“You see that man in that flyer?” She nodded. “I want you to kill him.”

This piece picks up where The Stranger left off and is a new piece to my work in progress, In Time.

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The image in the picture above is this week’s Picture It & Write  prompt. It fit in perfectly with my Steampunk story, currently titled “In Time”, that is being continued from last week.

I welcome constructive criticism. Please feel free to share your thoughts in a comment. Did I put you in the scene? Can you feel Viola’s fear and confusion? Are you holding your breath in anticipation for the next piece?

Thanks for stopping in and reading!

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Stephanie Ayers A published author with a knack for twisted tales, Stephanie Ayers is the Executive Creative Director of OWS Ink, LLC, a community for writers and readers alike. She loves a good thriller, fairies, things that go bump in the night, and sappy stories. When she is not writing, she can be found in Creative Cloud designing book covers and promotional graphics for authors.
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  1. 9 Comments

    Carrie

    I liked seeing viola get her bearings but there is still that sense of unease. You can definitely use this to keep the tension up as the story progresses.

    A few things that could use fixing: when viola is getting dressed you mention her looking in the mirror 3 times in that paragraph.

    When viola enters father lee’s study you use the word room numerous times 🙂

    Lastly, i’m not sure i can picture Nieve saying “c’mon” she strikes me as more proper with her language and bearing.

    Reply
    1. 9 Comments

      SAM

      There’s still plenty of tension left!

      As for the mirror paragraph–fixed! And multiple rooms? Fixed! C’mon? Fixed! LOL

      Thanks!!

      Reply
  2. 9 Comments

    Anne Schilde

    I feel a lot of unease and intrigue, so I guess there’s still somewhere you’re headed with this. I liked the name choices Cage Ridley and Father Desmond Lee. 🙂

    Releasing the cat felt totally off the wall like it belonged in a humor piece. It was cute, but maybe not a fit for this.

    Reply
    1. 9 Comments

      SAM

      Nice catch! Thanks for pointing that out. I hope the edit works in its place.

      And, yes there is a lot left to this story!

      Reply
  3. 9 Comments

    In Time: Brainwashed « My Write Side

    […] picks up where The Job left off. You can find more of this story here. click image for […]

    Reply
  4. 9 Comments

    sphrbn

    I could defintely feel Viola’s unease, well done. A few things but they simply effect me because I use english differently, you write ‘realize’ I write ‘realise, nothing wrong with either though. Another quick piece of criticism, “, Viola gasped. It fascinated Viola” is a line used, I prefer “Viola gasped. It facinated her” it just sounds better but that could just be me. Interesting how your writing a Steampunk piece as I am too, well me and my creative writing collegues from school, haha.
    If your interested, here’s mine: http://sphrbn.wordpress.com/2012/08/29/picture-it-write-golden-times/

    Reply
    1. 9 Comments

      SAM

      I think you’re right . The use of her name twice back to back like that is a bit redundant. Good catch! I am interested in your Steampunk. I will be by later this week.

      Reply
  5. 9 Comments

    Ermilia

    Yikes. I’d love to see where it would go next. I wonder if she would carry out the task. Thanks for contributing this week!

    – Ermisenda

    Reply
    1. 9 Comments

      SAM

      I did post a new piece that follows after this but hasn’t quite moved on to the actual deed. thanks for the awesome picture to knit some pieces together and keep the story alive.

      Reply

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