In Time: The Arrival

In Time: The Arrival

March 3, 2012 Writing 12

The phone rang at 4 am.  Nitwit rolled over and answered it.

“Hello?” She rubbed her eyes.

“He’s here!” Panic edged Raevyn’s voice.

“He?” Nitwit sat up suddenly, wide awake. “Roderick is here!”


The brilliant minds behind the Trifecta Writing Challenge offered up their Trifextra Weekend Challenge to write a 33 word story starting with “The phone rang at 4 am.”

I appreciate and welcome all feedback. Please share your thoughts in a comment.

Thanks for stopping by. This snippet may or may not be included in the final version of the In Time story when it is all complete.



12 Responses

  1. Tara R. says:

    Ooohh… ominous and intriguing. I want to know more.

  2. booguloo says:

    Uh Oh.

  3. Carrie says:

    I’m almost wondering it the comma should be before suddenly…

    Anyways, nice piece. Ramps up the tension, and fear of Roderick

  4. I’m wanting the punchline 🙂

  5. Thanks so much for linking up to Trifextra. Remember, this weekend’s entries are being judged by the Trifecta community, so make sure you visit the site at the close of the challenge to vote. Our linking service will not allow you to vote for a link from the same computer where it was submitted, so plan ahead! Voting closes 12 hours after the close of the challenge. Winners will be announced with the Monday post. Hope to see you back then.

  6. Now THAT sounds like a wake-up call that gets blood pumping. Nice.
    Came from the Trifextra linkup.

  7. jesterqueen says:

    I don’t think they are going to have much time to be afraid. If he’s arrived, then they are going to be acting soon. I love catching that moment before it all breaks loose.

  8. karen says:

    Clever. I especially like the Raevyn character. Raven is always my favourite. Damned trickster.

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