In Time: Lost and Found

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In Time: Lost and Found

August 7, 2012 Writing 7

You can read the preceding part here.

Pain wrapped itself around Viola and smothered her in its cloak. She found an opening between two willow trees  large enough to accompany her size and lay down. Convulsions rocked her. Beads of sweat moistened her forehead. Her eyes closed. She wanted to die.

*~*~*~*~*

Cage’s eyes searched the town for any sign of Viola Grace. It had been a week since he’d proposed and she’d taken off through the woods. If she didn’t return soon, he would send a search party to look for her. He still couldn’t believe her father refused to help him look. The conversation hadn’t been pretty. Even now, he could hear her father’s voice in his head.

“She’s run off, and that’s her business. She’s never appreciated what I give her. Ever since her ma died, she’s been chomping at the bit to get away from me.” His wizened face loomed at the forefront of Cage’s mind. “She’ll do the same to you, Mr. Ridley. Mark my words. If I were you, I would seek a wife elsewhere.”

The problem was he didn’t want to seek a wife elsewhere. Viola Grace held his heart prisoner. Every day she was missing, a new chain stretched across his chest, suffocating him. He had to find her. His guilt consumed him. If only he hadn’t proposed; if only he had waited, she might be here now.

“Tomorrow,” he thought.

*~*~*~*~*

Vibrations in the ground woke her. Even with her clothes soaked through and still feeling feverish, Viola felt more like herself. She didn’t know where she was and had no idea how she’d gotten there. These woods were unfamiliar to her. With sudden clarity, she realized she was far from home. Her mind raced trying to remember, but the only memory that would come to her was Cage, on bended knee. A new ache filled her heart but before she could dwell on it, a man crashed through the trees and invaded her space.

She stared at him, soaking in his familiar yet strange dress and the markings on his bald head. A feeling of déjà vu came over her, but she had no idea how she knew this man. When he smiled at her, every instinct in her soul told her to run, but she was too weak physically to do it.

“Ah, there you are, my dear. I’ve been looking all over for you.”‘

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This week’s Flicker of Inspiration was: Lost and Found. We were given 500 words to tell the story of something that was lost (an animal, an item, a person) and then found. I chose to continue Viola Grace’s story from my WIP: In Time.

I am always looking for feedback to improve my writing. Won’t you please help by sharing your thoughts in a comment?

Thanks for stopping in!

 

7 Responses

  1. Carrie says:

    Everything is starting to link up. I must admit, when you began this story I didn’t think it would be such a romance 🙂 I figured action and adventure with the Time Keeper and these children who discover him.

    Just a small thing: the use of “woods” in the beginning lines. It doesn’t quite fit, maybe it conjures such a huge image? Perhaps switch to underbrush, trees, bushes…?

    • SAM says:

      Its really not a romance, just these parts maybe. I can hear Cage/Time Keeper in my head. I’m not even sure the children really have a role in the story anymore. Cage, Roderick, Father Lee, and especially Viola Grace seem to have taken over.

      Psst..great suggestion. I hope the change is more visual. 😉

  2. May says:

    I haven’t written any fiction so I have no expertise to offer. The characters feel real and you have me intrigued about why she is running and who the man is.
    I found your comment interesting that as the story unfolds there may no longer be a role for some original characters. I find that interesting…that the story is organic and ever changing.

    • SAM says:

      It really is. I had another serial where a small character introduced in the beginning of the story became a much larger role but this is the first time the story has changed enough that other parts don’t seemingly fit–this story. Their story is still there I’m sure, just perhaps not with this one.

      Thanks for visiting and reading!!

  3. Wisper says:

    While I’ve missed the first part of this story, this part is intriguing. I’m going to have to check out the first part to make sure I’m following it as intended…

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