How Does Depression Lie?
A lot of people don’t realize that depression is an illness. I don’t wish it on anyone, but if they would know how it feels, I swear they would think twice before they just shrug it. ~Jonathan Davis
Where you are at now does not erase where you have been. That person you were before, the one who suffered and endured, still resides inside you. She’s festering there, threatening to ruin the here and now. And she just might succeed if you listen to her lies.
You’re broken. She whispers.
You MUST look strong all the time. She chides.
You don’t deserve this. She taunts.
That weight that you are carrying, she doesn’t want you to put it down. She doesn’t want you to share it. She wants to watch it crush you and bring you back to her level.
This depression is a bitch. Stigma is what keeps her going strong. We are so afraid to ask for help, to appear weak when it is our responsibility to be strong for our children, our spouses, our communities. We are so quick to support a friend and encourage them. Yet, we hold this thing inside.
[bctt tweet=”Hello, I’m Amanda and I suffer from depression.”]
This is what DEPRESSION looks like
Yes, I have a good life. Now. And a wonderful husband. Now. But I am carrying a lifetime of abuse, pain, and
suffering on my shoulders and it has become too much. Asking for help was hard at first. I started small confiding in one close friend and then my husband and gradually more friends and family. These people encouraged me to see my doctor and kept me accountable. ( am famous for changing my mind once I think I feel “fine”).
I have carried this weight for too long, for too many reasons. I know your story is probably different. Or maybe it isn’t. It doesn’t matter. The why does not justify what is.
I’ll admit, there was a bit of ego battle as well. I am the glue in this family. I cannot fall apart. The world will come
crashing to a halt. Um, no.
If you feel like you are drowning in this world please reach out to someone. Reach out to your friends, your family. Hell, reach out to me, I’m not too hard to find in these internets.
Where you are at now does not dictate where you are going next.
Until next time, scribe happy and stay sassy. And if you can’t, ask for help.