A Hot Shower & a Cup of Joe

A Hot Shower & a Cup of Joe

November 4, 2011 Writing 27

Bleep. Bleep. The digital readout on the alarm clock showed a bright red 8:00. Kate had spent the last 45 minutes hitting snooze and rolling over. She knew she couldn’t hit the snooze button any longer. She heard Malcolm rustling around in his crib. He would be awake at any moment.

She sat up, stretched, engaging in a yawn as she pulled the covers back. A smile caressed her face as the scent of fresh brewing coffee filtered through the air. Goose pimples were produced on her skin by the cooler air that met with her sleep-riddled warmth.

Malcolm’s door was open, and she could see his crib from her bed. She noted the curly head was still down, and a slight lift of her torso revealed that his eyes were still closed also. Satisfied, she went into the bathroom and turned the faucet on, ready to start her day with a hot shower.


This week’s challenge was to talk about what you (or your character) is doing at precisely 8:00. Whether that is AM or PM was left up to me. I did AM, and this is a very short excerpt from my 2011 NaNo project. It tells you absolutely NOTHING about my story. Ha. This is 154 words of a 200 count word restriction.

So, how could it be better?


27 Responses

  1. shah wharton says:

    Nothing like starting our day with a hot shower 😀 X

    Link this up at my blog hop, collect writing prompt and check out thriller author, Jim Brown’s interview here:
    http://wordsinsync.blogspot.com/2011/11/q-with-author-jim-brown-plus-weekend.html Shah. X

  2. angela says:

    Oh, nothing like a sleeping baby that means a non-rushed, hot shower. Lovely.

  3. Angelia Sims says:

    I thought she would have went for a cup of joe before a shower. I know I would have. I can practically smell it. Mmmm! 🙂

  4. Lance says:


    Made me miss the baby days…for like a second…

  5. Carrie says:

    made me think Kate is a DAMN lucky lady to have a baby sleeping in until past 8am!

  6. A hot shower, first thing with a sleeping baby? Nope, not much could be better! Oh? You meant cropping your NaNo to fit? Oh….I’m still dreaming of that hot shower. :>

  7. TheKirCorner says:

    seriously, first how do you manage to work, write such GOOD STUFF and change you blog like I change my jeans?>????? Secrets???? 🙂 Do you have a time turner??? LOL

    nothing makes this better, it’s perfect, it tells us what she’s doing, how she feels. the waking up, the coffee, the knowledge that she can shower while he sleeps. *BLISS*

    😉 Thanks for yesterday…..you rock!!!

  8. Baby sleeping past 8 and a hot shower-this is divine.

  9. Sara says:

    I liked how you used your words to paint a picture of a comforting moment of waking up. It made me sigh. Well done.

  10. Wow… I wish my mornings were that awesome. 🙂 That made mornings seem so pleasant!! Good job!

  11. Nancy C says:

    Cozy and comforting, like a morning comforter. Bless sweet Malcolm for giving mama her shower.

  12. jenny says:

    I’m jealous of this morning. Hot showers (and hot coffee!) are few and far between in my world. Thanks for letting me live vicariously!

  13. Renee says:

    Smelling the coffee brew as you awake, that would be heaven. My first cup is usually 4am. At work.

    I’m so jealous of the morning you’ve described.

  14. Galit Breen says:

    I love that you’ve given a glimpse, without giving anything away!

    And that first cup of coffee beside a sleeping baby? Bliss. 🙂

  15. Cameron says:

    I love the tight focus on a specific moment – and aren’t you clever, giving us a snippet without giving anything up!

    I did notice a couple of passive voice spots that might pack more punch with active voice, but that’s small stuff.

    • DM says:

      We will have to discuss that in greater detail later, because I am seeing this same critique popping up. I am working on the active voice, so thanks for the concrit!

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