Feigned Innocence

Feigned Innocence

May 27, 2011 Writing 31

This was absolutely the last time he would ever lock her out again. It was double jeopardy time for the little man.

Going outside without permission was his first strike, but locking his mother out of the house when she made him come in was the last straw.  A purple vein ran down her forehead, throbbing with such intensity that it looked as if it were going to explode. Red flashed before her eyes, as she felt the rage bubble up like gas in her chest. Bam! Bam! Bam! Her fist screamed at the door. One minute, two minutes, three minutes. Click. Blue splotches, as if she’d looked into the sun too long, blurred her path as she stormed after her son.

Wise beyond his years, he had retreated to a corner when she came through the door. He ran to her bedroom. He turned the television on.


Perhaps if he acted nonchalant, the whole thing didn’t happen and she would love on him instead.

He was wrong.

I hope you enjoyed this little not-quite-fiction tale. It is inspired by my son, who did indeed lock me out this afternoon.  Have a laugh at my expense, then leave me some concrit.


31 Responses

  1. Stacey says:

    My kids have done this to me and it does make me very mad. We have had some very LONG time outs and groundings as a result! I think you did a great job conveying what the child would do after unlocking the door. Kids are so helpful sometimes!

  2. Kim says:

    I have no doubt this is in my near future with an almost four year old and one year old. I already deal with antics such as my older son pulling down my pyjama pants and laughing wildly. Sigh. At least it made for a good post!

  3. cristina says:

    argh, my kid locked me in the basement one day, and when I demanded that he open the door, repeatedly, he would reply “I can’t, I’m too tired” Finally, my husband woke up from my screaming and I found the kid sitting on the couch chillin out! oh boy was I MAD!!! lol

  4. Carrie says:

    LOL, short and sweet…just like the culprit, right?

    I’m not sure what to suggest. Perhaps break it up into a couple of paragraphs? And you used purple twice within 2 sentences. Maybe find another way to describe the throbbing vein or the spotches on her face?

    I would have actually like more about when you first discovered you were locked out. Emotions, feelings, actions?

    • DM says:

      Good catch, Carrie. Once I get this headache to go away, maybe I can expand on that more as you suggested.

  5. NatureGirl says:

    I did have a good chuckle…thanks for being brave enough to share!

  6. Erin says:

    I just knew this wasn’t fiction! So well done!
    I had that happen once, my son locked me in the garage, I wad so mad that I stood there pounding on the door getting angrier and didn’t think to go out the garage and around to a different door! Took me about 5 minutes! So there ya go, a laugh at my expense!

  7. Ashley says:

    What a little booger! Lol.

  8. Funny!
    Children they can press your last nerve!!
    Enjoyed this.

  9. lori says:

    oh, the joys of motherhood! That whole second paragraph is my favorite, really well-written. I liked, “her fist screamed at the door” – Also, I really like the look of your site. I’ve been noticing everyone’s because I need to do a little work on mine 🙂

    • DM says:

      Thank you. I actually just updated it with a fresh look that I have had in mind for awhile. I’m glad you stopped by!

      I appreciate your comments on the second paragraph. I added them at Carrie’s suggestion, and I’m glad I did. She was right. It does improve the story.

  10. momfog says:

    Haha! I hate to laugh at another mother’s expense, but it is funny. I noticed the purple thing, too. That’s honestly the only thing I’d change. It was nice of the little guy to give you inspiration.

    • DM says:

      Not sure what you mean now. I changed it? You should see purple, then red, then blue for colors. Are you seeing something different?

      And I could do without that kind of inspiration. 😉

  11. Mandyland says:

    I’m sorry…I had to laugh, but only because I’ve been there!

  12. My son – the 2 year-old – locked me out too! He thought it was hysterical. Thankfully, my husband was inside and let me in. Next time, I might not be so lucky!

    • DM says:

      Why do they think this is so funny?!? I guess it could be in hindsight. Makes me want to hang a key by every door to grab on my way out, LOL.

  13. Janice says:

    Funny! So far, that hasn’t happened to me. I usually lock myself out. =/

    (stopping by from red writing hood!)

    • DM says:

      I’m sorry. You locking yourself out makes me giggle. I’ve done that too. Thanks for stopping by. I’ll be around soon.

  14. CDG says:

    So far my son hasn’t locked me out, but my kid brother did once…

    Wicked children.

  15. Jessica Anne says:

    Hahaha! Sorry, but that’s funny. I love that he pretended to watch t.v. like nothing happened. Good plan. 🙂

  16. Very fun! Sometimes, it is a very good thing children are cute — extends their mortality to another day. 🙂
    LOVE the striped witch legs in your header — made me smile.

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