September 16, 2011 Writing 19

This is not a chronological piece, yet it is a piece from Weathered all the same. I know it falls somewhere after Blair goes in the hospital and Anthony has discovered Bill’s betrayal. If you wish to read more of this story, click here.



Regina punched the wall in frustration. It was always the same spot on the wall, where a once crisp photograph of a happy family hanged, now tattered and dog eared, their faces unrecognizable from the constant battering. In her other hand, she held a letter, still brisk from its envelope.

Dear Ms. Adams,

     After further consideration, I have decided that I cannot honor your request to meet you for dinner at this time. I have based my decision on the premise that your birth certificate is fraudulent and you have no legal claim to me.

     Furthermore, it has come to my attention that you have been causing some trouble for my only daughter, Blair, and I must demand that you cease and desist at once.

    I must warn you, if you insist on continuing to harass my family, I will be left with no option but to turn the entire matter over to the police.


Theodore Weathers, Esq.


“WHY!! WHY! WHY!!”

Her screams filled the hallway and streamed down into the street below her small apartment building. Bill ran up the steps two at a time, believing she was in some kind of danger, and threw open her door.
“Woah! Regina…”

Her fists left the wall only to pummel his chest. Black streaked down her face.

“Why! Why can’t he love me too? Why?”

Her scream died to a stuttered whisper as the words continued floating from her lips.

“What are you talking about?”

His eyes caught the white sheet as it danced with the air in the room.

“My father.”

He caught her wrist and skimmed the letter quickly.

“I thought we discussed this. You were not to make contact. Not yet.”

“Bill. He is my father. He has always known. And I’m tired of waiting.”

She snatched the paper from him and shredded it.

“I was born first, you know. I was here before she was. He should have denied her. He loved me first. First!” Her fists rose to the air again before plunging into the wall. “Me!! WHY NOT ME!”

She plucked another letter from her coffee table nearby. Fresh blackened tears followed the path already etched on her face.

“I.” Rip. “Want.” Rip. “MINE.” Rip.

“Oh God, this hurts!”

She doubled over as a wave of pain surged through her body; her voice suddenly silent, her mouth left gaping, droplets of drool breached the dam of her lip and hovered there.

“Oh, God. Make it stop. Just make it stop!”

“I don’t know what to do. What can I do?” Bill’s burrowed eyebrows echoed the concern in his voice.

Pain turned to anger. Devious laughter started deep within her bowel, growling its way out of her throat. She rose and pushed him towards the door, punching his chest as she went.

“Ha! What can you do?” Punch. “What can you do?” Punch. “Nothing!” Spittle flew behind the laughter. “You? DO anything? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!” She cackled. “Why are you even here? Right this moment, WHY are you here?”

Her eyes glowered and her chest heaved. Her fists stopped.

“You are enjoying this, aren’t you? Enjoy seeing me on the short end of the stick for a change? Well take a good look. Burn it in your head. Plaster the image of my pain all over the inside of your thick skull.”

She turned her chin up to face him, pride and fury written all over her face.

“You see it?” Punch. “Now get the fuck out.”


  Your assignment this week was to write a piece where you explore the first broken heart for your character – or for you.

Regina’s only pined for the love of one man. Did you feel her pain? Concrit always wanted and appreciated.


19 Responses

  1. Anastasia says:

    I like it. I can feel her pain and anger.

  2. Sweaty says:

    I know this is fiction, but it’s almost as if I could see Regina in all her fury and the whole scene you described here playing before my very eyes.

    Nothing hurts more than to be denied the love of a parent. The pain cuts deep; my heart tightened as I read this.

    Wonderful writing. Really, you’re a pro!

  3. Galit Breen says:

    Oh my the anger the passion absolutely flies {and rages and punches and kicks and screams!} from the screen. I’d say? You got your message across loud and clear!

  4. Nancy C says:

    “She doubled over as a wave of pain surged through her body; her voice suddenly silent, her mouth left gaping,”

    I like this because this demonstrates showing. This really helps us picture her emotional state in our mind’s eye.

    Can I be honest? She’s so angry and abrasive that I almost see why the father picked Blair. She’s in an angry state indeed, but she seems to be a bit nasty, too. Could you soften her? Maybe less pounding and more tears, trembling?

    She herself may not be there yet.

    • DM says:

      I don’t know if I can. She really is a vile, nasty woman, so soft just isn’t something that she is. At least, I haven’t discovered her soft side yet. Perhaps later, I can do that.

  5. sarahealy says:

    You did a wonderful job of a showing pure, unadulterated, blow out of loss and betrayal. I really felt for this woman, even if I’m glad I wasn’t standing in front of her in this state.

    It was how you presented her with no excuses that made this story so powerful for me. I’ve felt this rage before myself. It isn’t nice and it isn’t comfortable, but it is real.

    I hope this character resolves some of this pain and is able to release it because it’s holding her down. I have a feeling you will take care of that, but letting me see her naked pain and anger is an important part of really seeing this character.

    • DM says:

      Ah, good. Regina so far has been a very vile hateful character. Peeling her layers off is not so easy. Every layer has its own vile. I’m a bit curious myself to see what happens to her at the end.

  6. Carrie says:

    Regina is a very angry woman. You’ve already portrayed the evil, the vile, and the nasty aspects of her but this. This is her true self being revealed.

    I actually feel a little sorry for her. She just wants that acceptance. Unfortunately she is going about it the wrong way by trying to sabotage Blair.

    Have you written her backstory yet? Do we know why Blair’s dad doesn’t beleive she is his daughter?

    • DM says:

      No, I haven’t written her backstory yet. I figured it must be a part of whatever is in that desk that Regina wants the key to so badly.

  7. TheKirCorner says:

    She scares me and I suppose that is the point. I’ve read the comments and so I am a little disappointed that there is no redeeming qualities in her, I look for the good even in the evil and if she has none, then I can say that you are writing her perfectly, with no exception. The rage, despair and utter betrayl she feels is so apparant I felt the puches intended for Bill.

    Really enjoying this story sweets

    • DM says:

      Thanks, Kir. I don’t know that I would say there are no redeeming qualities, only that she is not soft. I’m finding it much easier to write Blair’s story than Regina’s.

  8. angela says:

    Oh, she’s so angry. I’m sad to hear that you haven’t “found” any redeeming characteristics within her yet. Hopefully one of the layers finds something a little softer, because even a villan needs to have a little something human, I think 🙂

    • DM says:

      I think this whole thing with trying to make her father acknowledge her and this bitter thing with Blair is going to show her humanness, I just don’t know how yet. She’s had a last name change, so she has been married, plus there has to be a reason why Bill feels obligated to help here, and there are a few other issues that I need to expand on that just haven’t presented the opportunity for yet. I have to believe that she wasn’t always like this, right? Writing in 600 word chunks has its disadvantages and its advantages when writing a serial like this.

  9. Erin says:

    I am enjoying learning more and more about Regina. I can definitely feel her pain and her anger! Excellent job!

  10. CDG says:

    The knife-edge of anger and bitter mirth is a delicate one, and here I feel like she’s slipping over into madness. If that is the intent? Brilliant.

    The ending, with its stone-cold fury, is icy and blazing and wonderful. Well done.

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