Get Over It, Mom!

Get Over It, Mom!
June 21, 2016 4 Comments Writing Advice A.L. Mabry
scream and shout

Image by mdanys via Flickr

When my daughter rages it can often feel like she’s out to kill me a personal attack. Some of the words she throws at me are so venomous and laden with hate they feel like physical blows. It’s so very hard not to get caught up in the storm. The desire to spit the hateful words back can be overwhelming (I am not proud of feeling that way). I have to swallow the words like so much bile. I have to replace them with words of love, of calmness and peace.

I find myself looking into vacant eyes, trying desperately to play peacemaker even as I am attacked repeatedly. When she escalates into breaking things (this degree of escalation is now few and far between) my main focus is keeping her from hurting herself on shards of glass.

And then, like wind disappearing from the sails of a boat. She’s done. It’s over. She turns doe eyes to me. She opens her arms seeking an embrace, an oasis from her self-created storm. She whispers words of love beseechingly, almost begging for it.

[bctt tweet=”And, what is a mother to do? There’s no secret trick here. ” username=”OurWriteSide”]

mother and daughter

Image by lanuiop via Flickr

And, what is a mother to do? There’s no secret trick here. No qualified advice from an overpaid expert. There is only her and I. I wrap my arms around her and tell her I love her. We don’t talk about the mean words that were said. She has all but forgotten the fit. An emotional seizure some call it. And I do the only thing I can. I get over it. I let it go.

Does your child have rages or fits? There are lots of ways to help them calm down and planning can help prevent some meltdowns.

If you’re angry at a loved one, hug that person. And mean it. You may not want to hug – which is all the more reason to do so. It’s hard to stay angry when someone shows they love you, and that’s precisely what happens when we hug each other. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course: Seven Steps to Self-Fulfillment

Until next time, scribe happy and stay sassy,

alsig

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A.L. Mabry A.L. Mabry is an Executive Editor for Our Write Side. As an author, she enjoys writing in all genres and forms, even grocery lists. She is an artist and Wiccan who has an obsessive love of vampires, kilts, and blue butterflies. She is passionate about many topics and her posts are often laced with the snarky sense of humor one acquires from raising five teenagers, all at once. In her downtime, she can be found with her loving husband, Shawn and their children. She maintains her shreds of sanity with yoga, tea, and cats.
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  1. 4 Comments

    Stephanie Ayers

    I have found that wrapping their body in mine like a backwards hug and holding on tight usually brings my youngest out of his faster. When my daughter had them, I used to have to pin her down until she was finished. She would throw things and had potential to hurt people. I hate that you experience this too.

    Reply
    1. 4 Comments

      A.L. Mabry

      For us, it was always barricading her in the safest room possible. Physical contact during a rage is/was a major trigger. It’s hard but at some point I think we start to learn the little tricks that work.

      Reply
      1. 4 Comments

        Stephanie Ayers

        Every kid is different, which why we need parents sharing their struggles and stories.

        Reply
  2. 4 Comments

    thisisnothitchhikersguide

    My hat is off to you for your compassion and insight. I have never had to deal with this as a parent. I do see it from time to time with the kids on my caseload at work. You are doing the most important things already. Showing her you love her unconditionally and supporting her at the points in her life that she likely feels the most unloved and unlovable.

    And, your reaction is nothing to feel guilty over! That is a normal human reaction. You are not acting on that reaction. Give yourself a little bit of slack for being human. You are doing wonderfully.

    Reply

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