The Martyr

The Martyr
October 11, 2012 24 Comments Writing Stephanie Ayers

The day hailed bright and sunny, the white walls soaking up the cheerful sunshine, as they always did.. The pristine walkway would be crowded today as two soldiers marched in front of me, and two followed behind. They would push me hard and fast, my arms trapped behind my back, encased in steel, and chained to my feet, also bound by steel. If I stumbled, their feet would fly into my ribs.

I will face my executioner at the end of the long white walk, though my only sin was to fight for my country. I am a prisoner of war and today, I will die.

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The object of the #FridayFictioneers prompt is to use the picture prompt provided and write a 100 word response to it. Here’s my take.

I welcome feedback. Please share your thoughts in a comment.

Thanks for stopping in!!

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Stephanie Ayers A published author with a knack for twisted tales, Stephanie Ayers is the Executive Creative Director of OWS Ink, LLC, a community for writers and readers alike. She loves a good thriller, fairies, things that go bump in the night, and sappy stories. When she is not writing, she can be found in Creative Cloud designing book covers and promotional graphics for authors.
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  1. 24 Comments

    sustainabilitea

    The combination of sun and dark shade seem to foreshadow the darkness of your story taking place in a sunny place and the darkness in the narrator as he (or she) looks forward to what will happen.

    Reply
  2. 24 Comments

    Carrie

    I like the juxtaposition of his situation: being in a beautiful sunny place but about to endure a dark horrific end.

    I think there could be a way to accomplish the contrast without him specifically going through internal dialogue. It’s mainly that first line with this part “there was nothing cheerful about today, or yesterday, or tomorrow, for that matter”. I don’t think all that is really necessary.

    Reply
    1. 24 Comments

      SAM

      Your advice was taken. I’m not sure the illusion of the cheerful walls is shown here though.

      Reply
  3. 24 Comments

    bridgesareforburning

    Hi SAM,
    Nice contrast between the bright sunshine and white walls and the dark situation your MC is in. Ron

    Reply
  4. 24 Comments

    rgayer55

    Unfortunately, there will be no tomorrow. Nice story telling.

    Reply
  5. 24 Comments

    rochellewisoff

    For you a few lines you held me prisoner. Despairing dark against cheerful light. Well written.

    Reply
  6. 24 Comments

    Sheila

    This definitely made me feel for this person and that’s hard to do in just a few words.

    Reply
    1. 24 Comments

      SAM

      Thank you for the very kind words. I hope to draw you in like this every time.

      Reply
  7. 24 Comments

    billgncs

    good one … it has a resigned desperation about it. enjoyed your bio, alas I only have a checkered tablecloth.

    Reply
    1. 24 Comments

      SAM

      Hahahaha! Be careful. I turned Madison’s FB watermelon picture into a 700+ word story. Your checkered tablecloth could be next, lol!

      Reply
      1. 24 Comments
  8. 24 Comments

    myothervoices

    Do you think the prisoner would see the sunsine as cheerful? Interesting choice of words.

    Reply
    1. 24 Comments

      SAM

      Yes, as it always is. Perhaps that location was chosen for the easy deception. You wouldn’t expect a prison there.

      Reply
  9. 24 Comments

    thecontradictoryoptimist

    Nice story, I like the contrasts.

    Reply
  10. 24 Comments

    Sandra

    Good one, nice projection of the inevitability of his situation.

    Reply
  11. 24 Comments
  12. 24 Comments

    boomiebol

    This is so powerful, and the reality of some…like this

    Reply
  13. 24 Comments

    K.D. McCrite

    This breaks my heart. The story, not the writing. Good job.

    Reply
  14. 24 Comments

    April Galloway (@AMelodyGalloway)

    Interesting contrast of a light setting and dark plot. I like it. Here’s mine: http://melodypearson.com/2012/10/into-the-desert-stronghold/

    Reply
  15. 24 Comments

    Lora

    Looking at it again, that alleyway could be a trap and lead to one-way prison. Nice work.

    Reply
  16. 24 Comments

    Shirley McCann

    Amazing how many writers used the foreign/war setting for the pic. Must be a sign of the times. Sad, though. And scary.

    Reply
  17. 24 Comments

    rich

    he has a toughness that i only wish i had.

    Reply
  18. 24 Comments

    dmmacilroy

    Sear Sam,

    You captured the thoughts of the captured and shackled us to him for his long, hot walk. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Reply
    1. 24 Comments

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