War and Peace

War and Peace
January 7, 2012 12 Comments Writing Stephanie Ayers

“Will you not share?

No. It’s all mine.

“But you have so much.”

So? It’s all mine.

“Yes, you are right. But! I have all this.”

I don’t care. I’m not sharing a single crumb with you.

“Will you not put it on the line then so it is neither yours nor mine?”

No. I won’t.

“Then I will not share mine with you.”

Then we’ll both die.

Shrugs. “We will all die eventually anyway.”

You sooner. I’ve got the food.

“And  I, water. I daresay you will die of thirst first.”

Then so be it, but I won’t leave you a scrap. Not even a morsel fit for a mouse.

“Poor mouse.”

Poor you. Your stomach’ll wake  the dead.

“So you will not share?”

No. I won’t.

“Then we both die.”

So be it.

~*~*~*~

Rumble.”All those leftovers. Will you not share?”

Not one crumb.

“Okay then. Watch this.” Glug. Glug. Glug.

Will you not share?

“Will you?”

No. Humph. Maybe a crumb.

“Then I will give you a drop.”

But the line…

“Put it on the line.”

No.

“Why not?”

You’ll take it. If I put it on the line, you’ll take it and I won’t get it back.

“Of course not. It will be in my belly.”

Then I’ll have to cut it out.

“You would cut the crumb from my belly? Nonsense. You’ll kill us both.”

Then we’ll both die.

“So be it.”

~*~*~*~

“Will you not share?”

A crumb for a drop?

“Yes, on the line.”

Wait. How can you leave a drop on the line?

“Like this.”  Ping. “Will you not share?”

Humph. No. It’s all mine.

“Fine. I take the drop back then.”

How?

“Like this.” Smudge. Smudge. Scratch. “There, see?”

Humph. Waster.

“I have plenty.”

Will you share?

“No. I will not. Will you not share?”

Humph. No. I won’t.

Chew.

A crumb for a drop?

“On the line?”

No.

“No. I will not. Not even for a crumb.”

Gurgle.

Cottonmouth. Will you not share?

“I will not. Unless…Put it on the line.”

The line for more than a drop?

“For more than a crumb.”

Just one.

“On the line?”

Yes. More than a drop?

“Yes, a whole cup, on the line.”

On 3?

“Yes. My count.”

No. Mine.

Sigh. “Fine. You count.”

One. Two. Three!

“Thank you.”

Thank you!

“Please put the cup on the line.”

No. It’s mine now.

“You cannot fill it.”

It’s mine. See? My side of the line.

“Cheater.”

Waster.

“Will you not share the cup?”

No. I won’t.

“Then we both die.”

So?  I didn’t ask to have you tagging along.

“As if it is my fault.”

No, but…you could just give me the water.

“And you could just share the food.”

I could, but I won’t.

“There is plenty.”

It’s all mine. See? The line.

“Stupid line. Who had this crazy idea, anyway?”

You did.

“Oh. Why?”

You hate me. Sniff.

“I do not.”

That’s what you said before drawing the line.

“Oh. Well I did not mean it.”

Sniff. Humph.

“Will you not share?” Smudge, smudge. “Look, the line has a gap. Shall we cross it?”

Humph. On 3?

“Yes, on 3. ”

One. Two. Three! Humph. I can’t cross without you.

“I will not cross.”

Humph. Why not?

“I just remembered why I hate you.”

Humph. Fine then. I won’t share.

“Yes, exactly. This is why I hate you. You  do not share.”

I share too much already. A hip, a shoulder, an abdomen. Isn’t that enough?

“When you put it that way…Cross the line on 3?”

On 3. One. Two.

“Wait. I am not ready. Which side are we crossing to?”

Yours.

“No, no. I made the line. I choose.”

No. You’ll eat all the food and close the line without giving me any drink.

“And you will not do the same?”

No. I’m honest.

“Calling me a liar, now?”

Yes, whenever it’s to your advantage. Which is always.

“Fine. I’ll put the line back.”

Humph. Of course you will.

“Are you calling me predictable now?”

You said it, not me. Don’t look so shocked. You said it just now.

“Fine. I will be unpredictable then. What do you think I will do next?”

Count to three then cross to my side of the line.

“Wrong! You count, and we will cross to my side.”

Fine, on 3? One, two, three, step! Here is the cup.

“And here is the water. Fill the cup?”

Yes and here, step to my side for a second. Here, have some bread.

“It’s moldy.”

Yes. What did you expect of leftover bread?

“We will both die.”

At least we will be together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This week’s challenge was to: Write a piece, non-fiction or fiction, in which your character is figuring out what to do with their “leftovers”. We had 600 words to do this with (and yes, I’m a little over).

So, tell me. I tried on all dialogue for a change. Did it work? Did the path of the story take you by surprise? Feel free to share your thoughts. I’m always looking for critique.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Stephanie Ayers A published author with a knack for twisted tales, Stephanie Ayers is the Executive Creative Director of OWS Ink, LLC, a community for writers and readers alike. She loves a good thriller, fairies, things that go bump in the night, and sappy stories. When she is not writing, she can be found in Creative Cloud designing book covers and promotional graphics for authors.
Leave Comment
  1. 12 Comments

    Donna

    Very, very, very cool story! And to answer your question: YES! it worked!

    Reply
    1. 12 Comments

      SAM

      Yay! I’m glad it worked.

      Reply
  2. 12 Comments

    columbibueno

    Very nice.

    Reply
    1. 12 Comments
  3. 12 Comments

    Carrie

    I don’t understand who is talking so I’m lost…help!

    Reply
    1. 12 Comments

      SAM

      the one in italics is the twin on the side with the food.

      Reply
  4. 12 Comments

    Angelia Sims

    Love this dialogue and the flow of it. AWESOME! You know…you are pretty incredible yourself. 🙂

    Reply
    1. 12 Comments

      SAM

      blushing. You are so good to me, Angelia.

      Reply
  5. 12 Comments

    Renee

    This is wonderful! I love the dialogue. So many ways this could go.

    Well done!

    Reply
    1. 12 Comments

      SAM

      I worried that without names it would be a little confusing. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  6. 12 Comments

    Brandon

    This reminds me of the scene in Pirates of the Caribbean when Jack is talking and arguing with himself all over the ship. Good for you for trying new things!

    Reply
    1. 12 Comments

      SAM

      Ohh I love PotC! Especially Jack Sparrow. When I started it, I considered a talking to himself type of thing or multiple personalities, or man in a the mirror thing but ended up with this. LOL.

      Reply

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