All Mine

All Mine
October 28, 2011 32 Comments Writing Stephanie Ayers

There are two minutes left on the clock and the score is tied. We serve, white leather sailing over the net, meeting flesh, and returning over the net. I brace for it, turn, knees locked in position, hands at the ready. It is not my time. My teammates bump pass and spike the ball back over to the other side. Leather slams on skin, bounces to the air, a hand flicks high in the air, and smack! Over the ball sails again, and once more I brace, bend, arms at the ready.

β€œMine!” sounds a cry.

Thump, the ball is bumped up. It’s flying, flying. I can smell the sweat on the leather as it gets closer. My toes bend, my heels raise as my knees pulse, and I’m airborne. The ball is close, so close.

My arm pumps, swinging back, my shoulder stretching. My muscles bunch, tighten and flex as my palm opens. My hand at ear level, it flies forward and SMACK! The ball sails over the net with a quickness and sharp unexpected turn that cannot be stopped. Leather hits rubber flooring with a resounding splunk. The buzzer fills the gymnasium, and the bleachers echo in cheers.

“Welcome to the State Championship, ladies.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This week the Red Writing Hood challenge was athleticism. I don’t have any characters that are athletic, so I chose to share a moment from my senior year in HS when I played on the school volley ball team.

I welcome concrit, as always, and tell me. Were you playing volleyball just now too?

Tags
Stephanie Ayers A published author with a knack for twisted tales, Stephanie Ayers is the Executive Creative Director of OWS Ink, LLC, a community for writers and readers alike. She loves a good thriller, fairies, things that go bump in the night, and sappy stories. When she is not writing, she can be found in Creative Cloud designing book covers and promotional graphics for authors.
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  1. 32 Comments

    NC Narrator

    I loved the pacing on this – quick and excited! I tried volleyball in junior high (before I’d finally come to terms with my utter lack of coordination). I had bruises down my arms and on my hips for weeks – it’s a tough game!

    Reply
    1. 32 Comments

      DM

      it is a tough game, but the bruises go away once you get used to it. Thank you for stopping by and reading!

      Reply
  2. 32 Comments

    TheKirCorner

    WOW!!!!! I almost stood up and cheered!!!! Every phrase was just right, you play volleyball don’t you? You can tell. I love your words…every single one

    Reply
    1. 32 Comments

      DM

      I don’t play now, but I did. Well…I’ve played, but you would never know I was ever any good now, LOL.

      Thank you for the almost standing ovation! πŸ˜‰

      Reply
  3. 32 Comments

    Vikki GM

    Love the pace, the words. Everything.

    Not a word too much nor too little.

    Just right. πŸ˜‰

    Vikki

    Reply
    1. 32 Comments

      DM

      Thank you. Sometimes I struggle with word counts (doesn’t everyone?). Sometimes the scene just pops in my head, and its done. This was one of the latter, thank goodness.

      Reply
  4. 32 Comments

    idiosyncraticeye

    Very catchy, it’s got the pace perfectly. πŸ™‚

    Reply
    1. 32 Comments

      DM

      Thank you. I’m glad the rhythm works.

      Reply
  5. 32 Comments

    MJ * iNeedaPlaydate (@mryjhnsn)

    I agree with everybody! Fast pace to meet the excitement building… you have such talent, on and off the court!

    Reply
    1. 32 Comments

      DM

      *blushing* You flatter me. Thank you so much for the kind words about my writing.

      Reply
  6. 32 Comments

    mish

    I’ve never played volleyball… but you definitely have!
    I was right there in the moment… could even smell the sweat on the leather… very vivid!
    You did a great job with this piece.

    Reply
    1. 32 Comments

      DM

      Thank you! Sweat on leather isn’t such a nice smell is it? LOL.

      Reply
  7. 32 Comments

    Alison at Mommy is a Power Ranger

    Awesome and exciting post. I really felt like I was there.

    Reply
    1. 32 Comments

      DM

      I’d challenge you to a game, but 20 years later, I just don’t have the skills anymore. LOL.

      Reply
  8. 32 Comments

    Carrie

    I could picture the scene. You did a great job of portraying the intensity and the effort involved in getting that ball over the net.

    Reply
    1. 32 Comments

      DM

      Thank you, Carrie. if only I could play like that now…

      Reply
  9. 32 Comments

    Lance

    good “set” of the scene. I “dig” how you put me in the space of a unique game. I think you “spiked” the prompt.

    My teenager skipped cheerleading last year and played volleyball. I grew to respect the game and the girls. Good work.

    Reply
    1. 32 Comments

      TheMHalf

      Well done – both Lance’s comment and your post!

      Reply
      1. 32 Comments

        DM

        I agree on Lance’s comment, and thank you so much for the compliment.

        Reply
    2. 32 Comments

      DM

      Hahaha. I love your comment!!

      Reply
  10. 32 Comments

    Venus Brighton (@VenusLeeloo)

    Oh wow…. no, I wasn’t playing, I was *cringing* (that’s actually a good thing). Volleyball was one of the banes of my existence during high school PE. That SMACK just wasn’t something I was girl enough to take. I’m more of a dancing-for-exercise kind of person. But the fact that you got me back to that place in my memory means the writing is well done. πŸ™‚

    Reply
    1. 32 Comments
  11. 32 Comments

    (FL) Girl with a New Life

    This may be my favorite piece from you. I could feel every movement.

    Reply
    1. 32 Comments

      DM

      Aww shucks, Tina! Thanks!

      Reply
  12. 32 Comments

    Karen @ Time Crafted

    This is a great sensory piece & you put your reader right there in it! :>

    Reply
    1. 32 Comments

      DM

      Good. That is what I was hoping for!

      Reply
  13. 32 Comments

    Tina

    Great job of putting the reader smack dab in the middle of the action. I was in that gym with you!

    Reply
    1. 32 Comments

      DM

      I have to admit that real life experience, and putting myself back into the moment was a lot easier than trying to imagine a make believe world and its smells. Lol

      Reply
  14. 32 Comments

    Nancy C

    I really liked all the attention you paid to the sounds of volleyball. That’s what struck me the most as I read….nicely done!

    Reply
    1. 32 Comments

      DM

      I’ve noticed that I tend to look for sounds to describe things over other senses. Perhaps this is because I have so much loss of it now that my brain overcompensates?

      Thank you!

      Reply
  15. 32 Comments

    jesterqueen1

    I really felt your anxiety while you waited to hit the ball. That made me enjoy the release of “SMACK” even more. Reading about the game from your perspective, I enjoyed it. In real life, I’m like the person above who described volleyball as one of her banes. That anxiety. That waiting. Is it “mine”? How would I know if it was? And what in GOD’S NAME should I do if it is? Those things terrify me. It was fun to read about someone who seems to feel the same tension but knows exactly how to channel it into success.

    Reply
  16. 32 Comments

    Justin Sheftall

    Have you ever considered writing an e-book or guest authoring on other blogs? I have a blog based on the same information you discuss and would love to have you share some stories/information. I know my visitors would enjoy your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e mail.

    Reply

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