Be Enough: I Can

Be Enough: I Can
December 18, 2012 7 Comments Writing Stephanie Ayers

Sidenote: Since shutting down my personal blog, a few of the important things I was doing there have been left behind. I am only going to be writing on My Write Side, so I will be sharing personal posts here now as well. I hope that by sharing my journey and struggles I can help someone else along the way.

Boy, what a year it’s been! I used to dedicate Mondays to Just. Be. Enough because they were a big help in my decision to rediscover me. I really did lose sight of myself in 2011 and desperately needed a makeover. I started the year strong, growing in confidence by leaps and bounds by sharing my journey both on The Scoop on Poop (which I grew out of) and on Band Back Together. I needed healing more than I needed closure, though it often feels like I got both.

When I made the decision to “shut down” The Scoop on Poop, it just felt right. A journey had begun there, but the purposes I had for starting the blog in the first place no longer fit. I moved to a new site, with a new name, posted maybe 3 times, and promptly forgot about it. This wasn’t on purpose. It’s not that I don’t want to share my reality or my journey. I have found that part of being me involves letting my imagination flow. And that? Is far more interesting than anything I could post from real life, especially since I can barely remember what happened two days ago.

It doesn’t mean my journey ended. I should have taken the bull by the horns and continued on with posting my journey, but as summer came and ended, and aliens called teenage boys descended on my household, I think I lost myself a little bit again. Everything I worked hard at in the beginning of the year stuck with me though and saw me through the transition with strength, grace, and a resilience that I probably wouldn’t have if I’d not started the journey in the first place.

Today, I am empowered. “I can” is a phrase that leaves my lips often. I can blend a family, even without much help from my husband. I can mother two broken children while taking care of my biological ones. I can be pretty, even in a t-shirt and sweats. I can stand up for myself and share my feelings in a productive way when someone wrongs me. I can share my words with confidence, knowing someone out there is listening, even when I feel like I’m being ignored. I can and I am enough to tackle everything life throws my way. I can give my life to my Lord without sacrificing who He has made me to be, and I am worthy of every blessing He provides because I am and always have been enough for Him.

I can sit here and write for you feeling a different confidence than I did a year ago. Then, I was dependent on knowing my husband cared for me just as I was and that I had friends who accepted me as I was, but I didn’t have that on my own. Today, I CANproudly say that I have confidence on my own, independent of anyone else.

And that alone has made this whole journey worth it. I can’t wait to see what 2013 has in store for me. Thank you for sharing my journey with me. Thank you for your faithful readership. I hope we will continue our rapport for many years to come.

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Stephanie Ayers A published author with a knack for twisted tales, Stephanie Ayers is the Executive Creative Director of OWS Ink, LLC, a community for writers and readers alike. She loves a good thriller, fairies, things that go bump in the night, and sappy stories. When she is not writing, she can be found in Creative Cloud designing book covers and promotional graphics for authors.
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  1. 7 Comments

    Sean J

    Thank you for sharing with us. I’m glad to have discovered your blog and look forward to further reading and interaction in the New Year!

    Reply
    1. 7 Comments

      SAM

      Hey stranger! I’ve missed you around here.

      Thank you for discovering my little spot in the internet. Being a featured writer, even just for a day, went a long way to boosting my confidence as well. Thank you for that, too.

      Reply
  2. 7 Comments

    stankmeaner

    I think that one of the most resonating things with blogging, especially among the fiction writing genre, is the opportunity amidst the stories to feel something personal behind the tales. This was a lovely post amidst some wonderful stories.

    Reply
    1. 7 Comments

      SAM

      Thanks, Shannon. 🙂

      Reply
  3. 7 Comments

    Missy Bedell (@literalmom)

    This is awesome. I’m so glad to hear you say you can have confidence on your own, independent of anyone else. That can be oh-so-hard sometimes. Sometimes I have to force myself to feel that way, even when I kind of don’t, if that makes sense.

    Reply
    1. 7 Comments

      SAM

      it absolutely does. it makes total sense.

      Reply
  4. 7 Comments

    Just Be Enough: Writing~The Story Circle « My Write Side

    […] to hold me accountable as the year goes on. At the end of the year, I want to be able to say “I can!” and move on in my […]

    Reply

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