Be Enough: I Can
Sidenote: Since shutting down my personal blog, a few of the important things I was doing there have been left behind. I am only going to be writing on My Write Side, so I will be sharing personal posts here now as well. I hope that by sharing my journey and struggles I can help someone else along the way.
Boy, what a year it’s been! I used to dedicate Mondays to Just. Be. Enough because they were a big help in my decision to rediscover me. I really did lose sight of myself in 2011 and desperately needed a makeover. I started the year strong, growing in confidence by leaps and bounds by sharing my journey both on The Scoop on Poop (which I grew out of) and on Band Back Together. I needed healing more than I needed closure, though it often feels like I got both.
When I made the decision to “shut down” The Scoop on Poop, it just felt right. A journey had begun there, but the purposes I had for starting the blog in the first place no longer fit. I moved to a new site, with a new name, posted maybe 3 times, and promptly forgot about it. This wasn’t on purpose. It’s not that I don’t want to share my reality or my journey. I have found that part of being me involves letting my imagination flow. And that? Is far more interesting than anything I could post from real life, especially since I can barely remember what happened two days ago.
It doesn’t mean my journey ended. I should have taken the bull by the horns and continued on with posting my journey, but as summer came and ended, and aliens called teenage boys descended on my household, I think I lost myself a little bit again. Everything I worked hard at in the beginning of the year stuck with me though and saw me through the transition with strength, grace, and a resilience that I probably wouldn’t have if I’d not started the journey in the first place.
Today, I am empowered. “I can” is a phrase that leaves my lips often. I can blend a family, even without much help from my husband. I can mother two broken children while taking care of my biological ones. I can be pretty, even in a t-shirt and sweats. I can stand up for myself and share my feelings in a productive way when someone wrongs me. I can share my words with confidence, knowing someone out there is listening, even when I feel like I’m being ignored. I can and I am enough to tackle everything life throws my way. I can give my life to my Lord without sacrificing who He has made me to be, and I am worthy of every blessing He provides because I am and always have been enough for Him.
I can sit here and write for you feeling a different confidence than I did a year ago. Then, I was dependent on knowing my husband cared for me just as I was and that I had friends who accepted me as I was, but I didn’t have that on my own. Today, I CANproudly say that I have confidence on my own, independent of anyone else.
And that alone has made this whole journey worth it. I can’t wait to see what 2013 has in store for me. Thank you for sharing my journey with me. Thank you for your faithful readership. I hope we will continue our rapport for many years to come.