A Lucky Man

For authors, by authors, one word at a time

A Lucky Man

November 26, 2011 Writing 11

“Martin, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, Kate. I’m sorry I can’t be the man you need me to be. I’m sorry that I’m driving you to nightmares. I’m just sorry. You and Malcolm are better off without me, at least until I get my head straight. I can’t keep doing this to you. Dr. Anderson offered to take me on a camping trip next week. I’m going to go tonight. I’m so sorry it’s like this. You have no idea what a lucky man I think I am. You are so good to me. I’m so sorry. God, I love you.”

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I took Velvet Verbosity’s 100 Word Challenge with a small snippet from my NaNo project. The word of the week was “Lucky”.

To bring you in the moment, Kate’s had another nightmare and woken up screaming. Martin took off, leaving her to comfort the terrified Malcolm, and now he feels guilty. This conversation occurs over the phone.

 

11 Responses

  1. Carrie says:

    With the length of Martin’s dialogue, I think that might work better if she is listening to it as a message left on her voice mail.

    Just a thought 🙂

    • DM says:

      It has breaks and interruptions that I omitted here for the word count, but that’s a good idea too. In fact, it may even set the stage better! Excellent idea!

  2. Lance says:

    I kind of liked the stream of conscious thought delivery….but now that Carrie brings the idea up, I do think that format would deliver an emotional punch.

    I like it regardless, DM

  3. Angelia Sims says:

    This makes me sad! C’mon Martin get it together!!

  4. This is the first I’ve read of this story and I’m already hooked. LOL I need to go back and read the rest! Very powerful for just 100 words!

    • DM says:

      What a wonderful compliment, Lisa!! it’s a horror story, and just about everything I’ve posted that didn’t have surviving NaNo in the title has revolved around this story. Some of the snippets are on the scary side, a bit shocking. Enjoy the read though.

  5. mish says:

    Martin sounds confused… and yet sincere… poor chap sounds like he’s battling emotional torment!

  6. So he’s the cause of her nightmares eh? I’d say he does need to take that camping trip. Hmph.

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